After almost a week of depression started with the Christmas tree and UPS day, I am starting to feel hypo-mania again. I am really starting to believe or confirm I am a rapid cycler. Shouldn't I know this. I have been diagnosed since I was 15. ( I have just started seeking treatment for it though, seriously)

I discover my biggest Trigger- THE MAN!

I started today in a good mood, happy even- excited and alittle nervous about my first day on the sale-ing floor at Macy's!!!!

Then I hear it- The man down stair, bitch that I didn't get the dishes done after dishes. I did dishes twice yesterday and I was so busy with the other course and my schoolwork and spending time baking cookies with my son and cleaning other parts of the house, I thought it could wait till the morning. ( he did mostly just did his school work and played call of duty) I am in a much harder marketing class with material that he can't even
Comprehend ( He asked me to read my assignment to him, which he then said, HUH? too) I laughed.

Anyway- I am really hyper,

Okay, so the dishes incident. I got out of my shower to him in the kitchen making loud noises cursing in the kitchen. I was planning on there a shower, and going right down stair and getting my son breakfast and doing the dishes like my post it clearly stated. I threw my clothes on, not even combing my hair, and got down there, and said, as calmly as I could- but he was to far gone-," Talon, Just go downstairs, I will finish this."

He just got madder. And started yelling at me about not feeding the kid and not doing the dishes last night, I was writing a paper for my learning team till 10pm. I don't think He understand a Bachelor degree isn't like an associate degree. I did an associate degree and was able to get my work done quick too, now I got to put real effort into it.

Anyway, I accidently said, I should of stayed gone, and that made him madder. But he was already saying I don't do anything and that was pissing me off because I did a lot more then him and my down time is doing my resume or doing homework or spend on here. I feel like all I do is write. I even been working on a portfolio.

Anyway- He told me to go be a whore with all the geasy ugly sleeze balls guys I was sleeping around with when I left him over the summer. I was with only one person and that was just that one person that is stuck in my head, and he is far from that. He doesn't have a mental issue, He has a good job. He can take over his father's business if he wants too in the future. he is good-looking and stable. And did not use me, he was very upset, I went back with Talon, he doesn't understand why. But I didn't have a choice. I needed my son to be with his father, and I got threaten with my son being taken from me and with my mental past, there may be a possibility he could, so here I am, learning to love him again- almost loving him again. Today, did not bring me closer but it did bring me a broken kitchen cabin door.

Thats right he put his foot through a kitchen cabin door.

Well anyway-

After that drama, I decide to go about my business- I went and cried to his mom by mistake- I meant to just see if she was going by Macy's because I needed a dropped off. I accidently cried when I said, " I don't know why he is mad at me ( because I didn't realize what I said until he told me later." anyway- she was going to see this house at 1:30, so she couldn't.

So I wanted to take my stuff upstairs so I had everything on one floor to get ready, and that pissed him off, he thought I was doing it to be a bitch in his crazy little head. I was doing it for my own convinces, so I did have to run between two different floors to do my hair and makeup- that's all.

Well, after he started yelling again, I just went into my bedroom to get dress, and he came in and said he would not take me to work. of course I argue this because Macy's works on a 3 point system for new hires, after the holidays if hire back for full time, its 9 points. But if during the holiday you use up all your point you are let go and won't be hired back. So I didn't want to loss a point for not going on my first day. I don't want to loss any points at all during the holidays because I want to stay on.

So that ended with him saying I don't care about the relationship and threwing my make up everywhere.

AND I AM SUPPOSE TO BE THE NUTTER AGAIN. I got alittle upset, but I took it well. I gave him space, clean up my makeup, got ready and then him cool down and gave him a kiss, and he felt all better and I got to work and had a great first day, I made 93% my sales goal of 972 dollars, I would of made it, but I let another sales girl use my registry to get some of her goal, but then she realize she is only on the recovery team, so she doesn't have one. LOL

I went over my manager expectation of my first day, so its all good, I even got to help a women on the floor find a red long sleeve polo for her husband for Christmas. That was fun! :D