Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
1st post in Scapegoat support group:
For years I've relied on books to deal with my dysfunctional family so I'm very glad to meet real people with similar issues! I'm 55yrs and have 2 adult children. I divorced in '87. I am not in contact with anyone in my family, including them, except for a distant sister who doesn't have the time or interest in really knowing me. I've been the scapegoat for as long as I remember. It became really ugly thirty years ago when my other sister formed a pact with my brother and his wife to ostracize me. I was told by my brother "Elaine, you don't exist". It left me in complete shock. That was followed by other cruelties. Mental illness runs in my family and ironically he later committed suicide. I practically raised him and my sister and the pain of the two of them turning on me because I was unconventional and because I spoke about my mental illness (in order to reduce it's power over me), was to much for them.
Now it has been passed to the next generation- my children. I never wanted kids, but I got pregnant and married at 19. I started to suffer from ongoing bouts of Clinical depression, anxiety, and Borderline Personality Disorder vs. bipolar?. When I left him, a huge step considering my illness, I took my children whom I really loved, but had many conflicts because I was too young and because I never planned to do the nuclear family thing. I'm artsy and free-spirited. I could not deal with all of it! I was a reluctant mother, but a mother who loved her children nonetheless. He was a terrible ex- constantly making things impossible until it wore me down. He remarried and then I had the children every other weekend with NO flexibility whatsoever. There would be many Christmas' and Easters that I didn't see my kids. This was all happening as my siblings were trying to destroy me. I was literally in the midst of the 23rd psalm- "though I walk through the valley of death....." I had to learn not to fear the evil that surrounded me.
My children are very critical and we've had a rocky relationship for many years. Last week I divorced my daughter- I'll post what I'd wrote in another group. I plan to do the same with my sister. My brother is disabled and I pay his phone bill which I'll continue to do for now.
It's a lonely place to be and I give myself and all of you credit for staying true to yourself rather than sacrifice your identity in order to belong. I'm grateful that I'm an introvert and don't go in for huge gatherings and I'm ok with being alone. But who doesn't envy a close family. My heart is constantly breaking.
For years I've relied on books to deal with my dysfunctional family so I'm very glad to meet real people with similar issues! I'm 55yrs and have 2 adult children. I divorced in '87. I am not in contact with anyone in my family, including them, except for a distant sister who doesn't have the time or interest in really knowing me. I've been the scapegoat for as long as I remember. It became really ugly thirty years ago when my other sister formed a pact with my brother and his wife to ostracize me. I was told by my brother "Elaine, you don't exist". It left me in complete shock. That was followed by other cruelties. Mental illness runs in my family and ironically he later committed suicide. I practically raised him and my sister and the pain of the two of them turning on me because I was unconventional and because I spoke about my mental illness (in order to reduce it's power over me), was to much for them.
Now it has been passed to the next generation- my children. I never wanted kids, but I got pregnant and married at 19. I started to suffer from ongoing bouts of Clinical depression, anxiety, and Borderline Personality Disorder vs. bipolar?. When I left him, a huge step considering my illness, I took my children whom I really loved, but had many conflicts because I was too young and because I never planned to do the nuclear family thing. I'm artsy and free-spirited. I could not deal with all of it! I was a reluctant mother, but a mother who loved her children nonetheless. He was a terrible ex- constantly making things impossible until it wore me down. He remarried and then I had the children every other weekend with NO flexibility whatsoever. There would be many Christmas' and Easters that I didn't see my kids. This was all happening as my siblings were trying to destroy me. I was literally in the midst of the 23rd psalm- "though I walk through the valley of death....." I had to learn not to fear the evil that surrounded me.
My children are very critical and we've had a rocky relationship for many years. Last week I divorced my daughter- I'll post what I'd wrote in another group. I plan to do the same with my sister. My brother is disabled and I pay his phone bill which I'll continue to do for now.
It's a lonely place to be and I give myself and all of you credit for staying true to yourself rather than sacrifice your identity in order to belong. I'm grateful that I'm an introvert and don't go in for huge gatherings and I'm ok with being alone. But who doesn't envy a close family. My heart is constantly breaking.
Divorcing your daughter because she is critical of you or things you may or may not have done? You state being a reluctant mother that loved her children nonetheless. You see them as part of the evil that surrounded you?
Having children is a life long commitment and even though they are grown they or in this case your daughter obviously struggling with the relationship with you and you don't feel any responsibility to keep trying or acknowledge that possibly you have contributed to where she is at?
I hope you understand what I am trying to say or challenge you to think about.
My apologies but I am just not getting this or your other post...
If you are ok with it than so be it but a constantly breaking heart seems not to be only be yours. Maybe I am totally off base which wouldn't be the first time - I'll let it be ....