I fear the lows, but that's bc I suffer from depression so much more than any kind of high. But I can see how both would scare you.

I don't get manic (sorry folks). But I fear the lows...when I start thinking about the meaningless of life. It happens quickly to me. I could be feeling find and all of a sudden I start thinkg "whats the best way for suicide". I HATE IT! I don't trust myself. My lows happen so quickly it scares me.

I don't get manic either. I guess that means my meds are doing their job. It's just a matter of different intensities of lows.

are you BP2 Nester?

No I'm actually bp1. The meds definitely keep me low. The pdoc is more concerned about mania/psychosis than deep depression. i practically had to beg for an AD recently and then it is a low dose.

My lows are lower so I fear them most. I do sometimes regret the things I do when the high comes but they're usually nothing life altering. The lows are terrifying cos I'm always so scared I might seriously hurt myself.

I have lived with lows for so long they feel normal to me.
I fear the highs and take meds specifically to avoid them.
The highs have done more damage to my life than I could
ever dream of repairing. I fear them tremendously.

There is a slim chance that I will accomplish something worthwhile (or at least I'll think so) during mania, but during depression all that happens in my head is hating my life and hating myself and being positive there will be no change so I'd have to say the down is worse.

I hate the lows. I can't handle them and I quickly spiral down the rabbit hole.

After my last major depressive state years ago - I'll take my 3 levels of "high" so to speak. Never want to go there again....

I dunno. The lows are a suffocating, steep descent, and the highs are jittery, anxious, and pressured. I feel out of control during the rare highs. Bjork has a song about being violently happy. Not that I become violent. It's too intense.

But the lows go on and on...eventually I can become delusional :(

Mixed?

Definitely hate the lows. The feeling of no escape is unimaginable.

Highs are worse for me. I know I can at least survive the lows, or they are familiar or something, my first depression was when I was eleven years old so that's almost 3/4 of my life I've been dealing with it. Highs scare me. I have ruined my life many times over because of stupid things I have done during highs. I've only had one euphoric high, usually they are mixed and very uncomfortable and I get destructive and dangerous.

I fear the lows. When Im manic all is right with the world... everything is rainbows and unicorns... the only regret I have is spending too much money. But the lows I have a compulsion to kill myself not just thoughts its almost like I HAVE to... I don't like that feeling.