I'd love to hear some of your experiences about when you're in a mixed affective state, however you define them personally. I used to think I knew what a mixed state was when I was in one, but now, as my understanding of how mania manifests itself in my life evolves, I'm sure that it's always been a form of mania just with a lot of negativity of some form involved.
Right now, I can't tell if I am in a mixed state or not and I can't seem to find a lot of good info on experiences of other bipolar folks. For me, I can start out the day feeling very depressed, but it doesn't always last and I can go up, feeling rather good (even outwardly bordering on hypomanic), even though my mind is not fully there and I can easily come right down again. I'm not sure if I'm expressing that accurately but it's the only way I can at the moment. It's like being depressed inside, but not 'stay in bed' depressed, and still able to acheive some level of joy throughout the day, which itself does not seem to last long. And the inverse is also true. I can start out in a pretty good mood, but it's sort of a facade and inside there's this negative, sad river flowing through me that I'm trying to hide but eventually it spills out.
I'm not sure if any of this makes sense to anyone else but me but it's the best I can do to describe how I feel the last few days. Can anyone relate?
have a problem taking passion flower for tremor just realizrd that i am having the paradoxical reactioni know that lamictal causes your eqilibriam making it look like you had a shot too many but i have been on it too long for it to cause problem with my balance i just started the passion flower and funny thing i drink a cup of coffee first thing and go out and have a cigarette later begen doing...
13 years ago I lost my Mimi..you'd think with time it wouldn't feel like my heart is getting ripped out of my chest over and over again. I know my last counselor told me that I never learned how to grieve my first loss.. but damn. When will it get easier??? 20 years? 25? 30?! The thing is... I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to let that part go.im having a hard day I'm sorry guys...