I agree that rapid cycling is difficult. I think I find mixed episodes the worst myself. But then depression is awful. My hypomania sometimes feels good temporarily but can be embarrassing afterwards. When hypomania is not a mood lift, then it's horrible as well. It all sucks! As well as the anxiety and sleep problems, side effects of medications and so on. But it's much easier to cope with when you have support, and this group provides that! Finding the right medication combination is key. Do you have a psychiatrist?
Best wishes

Thanks for the reply - yes I understand the anxiety and depression and insomnia but what feels most painful is the world feels extremely lonely to me. Unfortunately I don't have any communication with my family, they're horrible people - long story. And I've lost my friends. I have a husband who is there sometimes but we have our struggles. I found meds that help stabilize - Vraylar, prozac, Ativan, etc. but what a life to lead, constantly on a rollercoaster. I have a psychiatrist to keep the meds going but I can't help but think I'm cursed and want to get off this ride.

I was diagnosed at 38 and I am 51 now. I struggled hard for many years but finally at peace..I am enjoying life again.. Just trying to give you hope, I have been there and know exactly how you feel..prayers and keep on being you

It's not an easy disorder to live with. But with the right medications and therapy, life can become more enjoyable. Be very grateful that your husband is still there. So is mine. I think we are the exception rather than the rule. Practice coping skills. I bought an amazon.ca workbook on dialectic behaviour therapy/DBT and I'm finding it very helpful. It is important not to just read about the skills but to apply them. So I made a coping table on a Word document that's on my desktop so I am reminded every day to do my relaxation and other coping strategies. It has been helping me cope while I find the right medication combination, which has been challenging to say the least. There are also online courses you can take on DBT. We are here for you at DS!
You can get off the roller coaster and onto our sailboat because we're all in the same boat (similar boat) and we can ride the waves together.

Your description of how you feel, mania and depression at the same time sounds more like dysphoria or mixed moods/episodes. . The definition of rapid cycling is mood changes 4 times a year, not 10 times a day.

I had dysphoria in the early 2000s for 4 or 5 years. My pdoc had me on 5 or 6 meds, because he knew something was wrong but didn't know how to treat it.

God finally helped me, along with change of life. I learned to do Christian meditation, which was a major change in my life. I would recite verses that struck me as powerful and uplifting, and the depression was less and less, and the hypomania came down to a less frenetic pitch. Menopause was difficult, but hormones were so hard on me. I went on Provera or Progesterone for 2 years, and I was able to get off all my psych meds, and felt better.

I'm not saying you should do what I did, but find something that helps you. Mindfulness is very helpful. Talk to your doctor about adding some non-med therapies. Even journaling helps.

My mood swings are 98% gone, and I have become a calm, not angry person. I'm not perfect, if course, but so much better than back to my teens in the 1960s.

Ask your doctor about dysphoria, and maybe read about it yourself. I may be totally wrong, but what you said rang a familiar bell!

Mixed episodes are the worst. I get them from time to time...normally when it happens, it’s during a season change...normally winter to spring then mania creeps up as the weather gets hotter. I’ll literally be sobbing and scrubbing my house at the time. Or I can’t get out of bed but I can’t sleep. A lot of the time it’s pure irritation and aggravation by any and everything. Antidepressants can throw you in a mixed state too. I hope you feel better.

I was diagnosed in a mixed episode and it's miserable however I've never had rapid cycling

I would talk with your doc and review your meds if this is continuing ... You're on Prozac and a lot of people with Bipolar can't take antidepressants ... It can send some of us over the moon including me

This is a good board....I'm glad that you've found us..... Big hug.....xo

i am an ultra rapid cycler every week my meds lamictal keeps me hypomanic with depression not that bad

i feel fortunate having it this way i used to go every 6 months but it changed i have been bipolar most of my life with mild symptoms as a child

i understand the rollercoaster ride but prefer it to the endless months of suicidal depression and super bad manic episodes

i take lamictal and zyprexa but they just give me relief but it is much better than nothing finding the right meds is not possible for me i am psychotic all of the time but mildly but you get used to the moodswings after a while
hope you find the right meds soon

Thanks to everyone who left a reply. It makes the world feel a little less lonely to know you're out there. I'm seeing a new psychiatrist next week so maybe they will have an alternative solution to my meds. I'm currently on Vraylar, which is about $1000 out of pocket and I'd like to switch to some alternative that isn't as costly. When I started Vraylar I was more manic than depressed, but the pendulum has swung the other way and I think it might be time to try something else. If anyone has had success with other meds I would love to hear about it.

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