Day 7 of 2 hours sleep each night....exactly.
My body is crap, broken, diseased, crap, always has been...but my brain has somewhat always amazed me because it does really wierd things all the time. Like right now as I'm tapering back on to my Anti-depressant for the "winter season" and dealing with the Manic-ness and my brain going at constant 200mph hamster wheel speed....it, beingmy brain knows that it only wants 2 hours of sleep per day. And no matter what meds I take, or don't and what time I go to sleep, I wake up exactly 2 hours later, every night. Probably not too wierd in itself, but I have a Cyclic Rhythm Sleep Disorder, blah, blah, blah, big words that mean my Internal Clock is broke. So regularly I don't sleep more than 4.5 hours per night and I don't use an alarm, because my brain only sleeps 4.5 hours per night and wakes up exactly 4.5 hours after I go to sleep, every morning....like...well clockwork.
22 hour days are productive, but mentally exhausting. That's another weird thing....my body/brain have shifted over the years in Mania symptoms. As my body has broken down and is not able to run around and do things....the Manic-ness is more concentrated to Mental absurdity. I have to stop what I'm doing at work every 45 mintues or so and forcibly re-center myself because I realize I've started doing 5 different things and finished nothing. It's like when you close your eyes real tight and in the darkness behind them you see many bright lights. That's how my brain feels right now, it wants to go and do something for each of those bright lights.
Last night I broke 14 of my personal best Tap Tile speed records, finished a Grant Proposal, started a new Research Paper, watched a couple more eps of Greys Anatomy, answered a handfull of work emails and went to sleep at 5:30a.m. and my eyes popped open at 7:30a.m. ready to start the day all over again. I'm not tired....my head just feels like it might spin around so fast it's going to go flying off at some point.....
I'm up to full dose every other day, so another week and this should all start to recede like the ocean tide...and my better half should feel comfortable enough to carry his ass back home and things get back to normal. I don't like having people underfoot 24/7 when I'm feeling fine.....I really don't care for it when I'm having to mentally check myself everytime I speak or do something...
Mom and I went on a mission today. We hit up seven dollar stores looking for pieces to make a fairy garden. This one is mine though dad called it a fairy farm not a garden due to the multitude of animals.
Hi - My therapist recommended this book. Thoughts?