Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Day 7 of 2 hours sleep each night....exactly.
My body is crap, broken, diseased, crap, always has been...but my brain has somewhat always amazed me because it does really wierd things all the time. Like right now as I'm tapering back on to my Anti-depressant for the "winter season" and dealing with the Manic-ness and my brain going at constant 200mph hamster wheel speed....it, beingmy brain knows that it only wants 2 hours of sleep per day. And no matter what meds I take, or don't and what time I go to sleep, I wake up exactly 2 hours later, every night. Probably not too wierd in itself, but I have a Cyclic Rhythm Sleep Disorder, blah, blah, blah, big words that mean my Internal Clock is broke. So regularly I don't sleep more than 4.5 hours per night and I don't use an alarm, because my brain only sleeps 4.5 hours per night and wakes up exactly 4.5 hours after I go to sleep, every morning....like...well clockwork.
22 hour days are productive, but mentally exhausting. That's another weird thing....my body/brain have shifted over the years in Mania symptoms. As my body has broken down and is not able to run around and do things....the Manic-ness is more concentrated to Mental absurdity. I have to stop what I'm doing at work every 45 mintues or so and forcibly re-center myself because I realize I've started doing 5 different things and finished nothing. It's like when you close your eyes real tight and in the darkness behind them you see many bright lights. That's how my brain feels right now, it wants to go and do something for each of those bright lights.
Last night I broke 14 of my personal best Tap Tile speed records, finished a Grant Proposal, started a new Research Paper, watched a couple more eps of Greys Anatomy, answered a handfull of work emails and went to sleep at 5:30a.m. and my eyes popped open at 7:30a.m. ready to start the day all over again. I'm not tired....my head just feels like it might spin around so fast it's going to go flying off at some point.....
I'm up to full dose every other day, so another week and this should all start to recede like the ocean tide...and my better half should feel comfortable enough to carry his ass back home and things get back to normal. I don't like having people underfoot 24/7 when I'm feeling fine.....I really don't care for it when I'm having to mentally check myself everytime I speak or do something...
Happy Tuesday!!!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
The longer days and lack of sunlight, my brain does not like.
I have an actual Sleep Disorder, Cyclic Rhythm Sleep Disorder, my brain does not produce adequate Melatonin nor does it recognize the difference between night and day which triggers the need for sleep and waking. I take a cocktail of benzo's and hypnotic class sleep meds every night to make my brain sleep, have for many years. My normal nights sleep is 4.5 hours.
Your efforts leaving me in the dust by what you accomplish by day or by night....
Hoping for you, the no sleeping roadrunner ride will end soon! And a return to your beloved 4.5hrs per night of sleep soon!!!
I'm just used to it, I was born with this crap-ass, "never having worked right" body...I don't remember a time when there wasn't a need to learn to compensate for something or other that didn't work "normally."
When my maternal genetic donor was pregnant with me she was on, "Thorazine, Phenobarbital, Dilantin, Depakote and Valium" along with some other stuff. She was a Grand Mal Seizure Epileptic in addition to being psychotic crazy... used to bounce off the walls, literally with severe Grand Mal Seizures while very pregnant....my paternal genetic donor, the Pedophile used to love to laugh and tell me about it.
I never should have been born, much less, have all my pieces and parts....but I was and did....they just never worked right.....there were some serious genetic deficits going on.