Hello all! I'm just going to do a simple update. I'm not on here very much anymore; not sure why? Just kind of forgot over time, lol. I hope you all are well! If we used to talk often on here, you can message me and I can give you my Facebook so we can stay in touch, since I'm not on here a lot anymore.

So. I don't remember if I told you guys, but my mother fell ill with a blood-oxygen content of 34%, Liver Failure, and Aspirational Pneumonia, and was hospitalized twice, almost died once, and I was a fucking NERVOUS WRECK, stopped eating altogether (I fell very ill & the stress triggered my Anorexia), and had panic attacks for months afterwards that my mother was going to die.

Well, she's doing better.

My 'girlfriend' Shiloh is now OFFICIALLY my girlfriend, and as of around 2 months ago, I have a wonderful boyfriend named Evan who I was friends with on Facebook for about.... a year or two before we finally met in-person, and we hit it off immediately.

(I am polyamorous and bisexual. They both know. They both keeeeewl with it.)

Evan's nervous I'm going to leave him. He grew up with no validation whatsoever; no praise, no love, nothing. I'm always trying to reassure him of my love for him even if I'm never quite sure how I feel, myself.

He's a GORGEOUS long-haired metalhead (you know me & beautiful metalhead men) who treats me like a genderqueer queen/king. He's a ~straightwhiteboi~ but fully accepts me as gender-divergent/non-binary (meaning I don't identify as either a man or a woman, although I was born- and appear to be- a very feminine woman.)

He took me to a Failure concert recently. It was pretty rad, even if I was hungover.

Oh. I discovered uhh... can I talk about this here???? MEDICAL-GRADE Cannabis for my pain, and it saved my life. I HATE feeling "stoned" or "faded" or whatever (honest to dog), but I've found that high-THC/high-CBD strains 100% eliminate my pain and got me eating again. I lost about 25 pounds recently due to stress, low appetite, severe illness(es), and Anorexia, and once I discovered the medical stuff (I'm not saying legally, but I'm also not saying illegally), I began EATING again and actually feeling as though I am alive; not just here and breathing.

I'm currently drafting a bill which will extend Medicinal Marijuana rights to about 30 more severe chronic health conditions in my state- wish me luck! My state's in the Stone Ages (Stoned Ages? nah, Stone Ages) with Medicinal Marijuana, even though it's safer and more effective than pain pills, if you ask me. (Coming from someone who's both correctly used & abused them for years and years.)

But I ran out and wound up in the Emergency Room last night.

I remembered something. I was diagnosed with Eosinophilic Esophagitis as a child- I can't believe I forgot! It's a rare severe autoimmune disorder which is technically an anaphylaxis reaction in which your white blood cells falsely identify your stomach/esophagus as a threat, and thus when triggered (triggers are random and never the same), it feels like you are being stabbed to death all throughout your abdominal cavity and intestines.

It's pretty dumb. .-. I'm only 22. Sometimes I feel bad for myself that I'm going through this, but my boyfriend has severe chronic pain as well (SEVERE and near-constant migraines), and so does my girlfriend (likely Fibromyalgia and/or severe IBS), and they inspire me to keep going. Also my girlfriend's digging her way out of homelessness- god, I just wish I could take care of her and afford her a high quality of life. l:

I'm filling out job apps right now because despite how deathly ill I am, I'm tired of feeling like a damsel in distress, waiting for the gov'ment or my family to come rescue me. I've realized that in the end, only I can provide for myself; my own resources, money, health insurance, etc. Etc.

I'd rather be suffering while earning money so that I can see my doctor regularly than suffering at home, not earning money, not earning independence and my ticket to better health.

I've gotten back into "living doll" fashion, and I've found that Goodwill and thrift stores are an excellent place to shop for both dolly fashion items and cute household decorations! 

So, in short, things have been up and down (and stagnant), but such is the life of a "beeper" I suppose.

How are you guys? Dang. I was scrolling through the posts and I remember a loooooooooot of you guys (even though there are a lot of lurkers and a lot of new members haha, as always).