I think that lying is at the core of being manipulative. I for one have trouble lying because it's so hard to remember which version I have told to whoever. I think we have all lied and been manipulative at one time or another in our lives,the key is what have we learned from it. I do know when I am being manipulated and lied to by my kids because I already pulled the same crap.LOL

I am bewildered. As a Christian, I thought that was kinda part and parcel to following this belief. But I have met several people who have remarked about my honesty (perhaps, saying something else in a nice way)...but even my Christian sister ~~ told me not long ago, that "you have to lie to get by"...and just last night, on the phone, said, "I know you like to do things the right way"....(regarding my SSI and money) um, duh. Yeah, I even have lied myself a time or two. (or three, or four) But as I told my sister, it usually comes back to bite me in the butt. MOst of the time, I can't think fast enough to lie, anyway...so I'm screwed either way!! LOL!!

I try not to lie very often because as others here have said, I can't remember what I have said and getting caught in a lie is not cool. However, there are times when you have to lie a little just to save your butt.

I think lying is common with mental illness. You're always covering up. I know I do it. It's kind of f**ked but I'm guilty too.

I've manipulated people and situations to get what I want and sometimes just to see if I "still got it". Most of the time i don't feel bad because i think they deserve it for being dumb allowing me to do it to them.

I've lied to cover depression ... I've rung work and said I've got a cold when the truth is that after 3 hours I still can't seem to figure out how to put my socks on ... or made up stuff to not go to social things when I'm anxious or depressed. White lies that cover up stuff when I don't want to talk about it. These days I do much less of that .... haven't quite got the "I'm BP and proud" T-shirt yet, but it's not a secret any more. I find that saying to someone that I know reasonably well: "Sorry ... brain ain't playing today" causes no guilt and less anxiety than lies.

In general though ... I find that the truth is a cornerstone of holding things together and not just for particularly noble reasons. The BP already provides me with a range of alternative perceptions about everything. The truth is a common thread that connects all that up. I'm also strong on principles ... I'll stand up to anyone to debate what I believe regardless of who they are ...

I need to stick to the truth so that I can believe in myself ....
Manipulation ... hmmm .... that thing where you do or say a whole lot of things to get an outcome without actually directly confronting the person or situation concerned ... I don't have it in me .... seems way too hard and anything that adds unnecessary complexity to my life is no good.

Different strokes I guess ...

My problem is I tell too much. I'm not saying I have never lied. But I often confess the truth no matter how bad it is.

In a way I think I am selfish because I have to get things off my chest.

I'm not saying that I agree with lying either. I am often on the receiving end of someone lying to me and it is very painful.

I would rather have the truth and work on the healing.

Tamara

Oh, and I can be manipulative too, but it is often subtle ways that even I don't recognize until after.

Tamara

I just try to think about how I want to be treated. Do I want to be manipulated and look the fool? Do I want to be lied to? No, I don't. So, I try my best not to do this to others. Doesn't mean I don't do it from time to time, though.

Honesty is what can hurt.If it's true honesty.I don't remember lying like the way people say here.
Generalising is dangerous

Hell, yes. My whole family thinks I'm a manipulative bitch. And I do lie to them sometimes because the truth would make them freak out more and I don't want to hear their crap.

Soley, when you say manipulation ... what do you mean?

If by manipulation you mean a bit of flirting and flattery to get something .... then you're actually making a trade .... and really it's up to the other person whether they go for it or not. No drama .... we all make deals ... you tickle an ego ... they do something for you.

If, however, you mean that you set the rumour mill going to shaft somebody without them knowing about it then that's crap .... and speaks volumes (none of which is good) for people that do this. I often ask when some story comes to me: "Have you asked the person about this?" If they say no, then I point out that they are telling me more about themselves than the topic of the discussion.

manipulation is just what it is. people are these strange creatures that do as they please to get ahead of themselves and everybody else and if manipulating is ever available to them then thats what they do because its all about them and their own personal world.

Often (though not always, of course), when people hear the word "manipulation", they associate it with people who are purposely trying to wreak havoc on others with negative results.

It's not always that way. I have to consider carefully if I have a "manipulative" side, and I am always second-guessing myself, anyway.

Manipulation, for me, has always been to cover up or hide the bipolar. In times past, I would lie about my decisions or practices during mania because I did not want to suffer the consequences right away (if ever). Well, duh. Not such a good thing, was it?

Sometimes I do it to save family/friends from additional grief, as I have mentioned on another post. Sometimes, it's just flat Self-Preservation.

It's still manipulation, but not with malicious intent.

Random example: How many people have I actually slept with in my life? If you ask my parents, they'll say, maybe 8. If you ask my former pastor, she'll be Sure it's 8. My sisters probably think 12-15. My best friend thinks the same. My online friend thinks about 50, and yet I know it's more than 100. (honest)

Lying. It comes in handy when you and friends/family wander down the mall and run into someone you "ought" to know....they stop and say, "Hey! How ya doin'? Haven't seen you in Forever. Do you still-"

and you interrupt them Loudly, lying, and say "Wow. I don't know WHO you think I am, but I've never seen you before in my Life!"

And hope for the best.

Hmmm I don't ever try to start rumors because they are too difficult for me to start and keep up with it. The most i do is if I'm really angry with someone I'll stretch the truth and would have no problem admitting like "Hey as you can tell I'm pissed off right now so what I'm saying is probably half true so you are more than welcome to ignore me" and then blow off some steam. That way they will know its just me either looking for sympathy or just expressing my anger. It doesn't matter to me.

I have taken advantage of a lot of situations like get sympathy because of my moms cancer thing and using it for a while even after she's been in remission.

I've made guys think I'm interested in them..This I used to do all the time. Just for fun because I wanted to see how far I could push someone. Not fun while it's done on my end so it's stopped there. Karma i s a beotch.