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I wrote on the general discussion about this guy who I was "manically jealous" about and just stressing over him in general... obsessing and whatnot.
Well it turned into a disaster...
We finally hung out on Thursday and I went to his house in the morning. The house was empty so we could.... snuggle.... that's what we talked about before. Well we ended up making out a lot.
Then we talked about where this was going. He said we either stay together when I go away to school and he would visit me when he could... or we end it now. I got sad about us being over.. stared off and shed a tear. Then he cried.
Then he made us PB&Js.
Then we had sex..... RRRRRrrrr!!!!!
It was so bad because he's so damn small but even if he wasn't he was like a rabbit and too aggressive. We were not connected at all. Then he got soft because he started to think about what would happen after this was over. So we stopped.
Oh yeah before we started he unbuttoned my shirt. I have complained to the max about how my body is imperfect and how I hate my boobs and his response was I should get the fat in my body put in my boobs... OH YA when we dated in the summer I told him that I liked my weight and he said "Really? Well I think if you lost weight you could look more like a super model and more guys would think you were attractive" UGH!
So when he unbuttoned my shirt he said.... "Oh they're not that bad... they are ok." JERK! When your intimate with a woman you should make her feel beautiful. I can't believe he said that when he knew how deathly self conscious I am of my chest.
After I felt wrong.
The next day, my entire body was TENSED up I was so uncomfortable. Still am. It's because of the sex. I had the same feeling when I was raped.
I just want to text him and tell him what's on my mind. Short and sweet and angry. I want to say how we are not friends (like we agreed) and he is mean and clueless and I was faking it when we had sex because I couldn't feel anything because he was so small.
But I can't do that..... But every second I want to.
I don't feel like I can trust men anymore. Not with my heart.
Anyway, I guess I just really need to talk about it and I'm not telling my mom. I'm ashamed to tell my friend Beth and I told Sydonee and we talked about it for a long time yesterday.
Any encouraging words would be nice if you make it this far in my post.
Love,
A
Well it turned into a disaster...
We finally hung out on Thursday and I went to his house in the morning. The house was empty so we could.... snuggle.... that's what we talked about before. Well we ended up making out a lot.
Then we talked about where this was going. He said we either stay together when I go away to school and he would visit me when he could... or we end it now. I got sad about us being over.. stared off and shed a tear. Then he cried.
Then he made us PB&Js.
Then we had sex..... RRRRRrrrr!!!!!
It was so bad because he's so damn small but even if he wasn't he was like a rabbit and too aggressive. We were not connected at all. Then he got soft because he started to think about what would happen after this was over. So we stopped.
Oh yeah before we started he unbuttoned my shirt. I have complained to the max about how my body is imperfect and how I hate my boobs and his response was I should get the fat in my body put in my boobs... OH YA when we dated in the summer I told him that I liked my weight and he said "Really? Well I think if you lost weight you could look more like a super model and more guys would think you were attractive" UGH!
So when he unbuttoned my shirt he said.... "Oh they're not that bad... they are ok." JERK! When your intimate with a woman you should make her feel beautiful. I can't believe he said that when he knew how deathly self conscious I am of my chest.
After I felt wrong.
The next day, my entire body was TENSED up I was so uncomfortable. Still am. It's because of the sex. I had the same feeling when I was raped.
I just want to text him and tell him what's on my mind. Short and sweet and angry. I want to say how we are not friends (like we agreed) and he is mean and clueless and I was faking it when we had sex because I couldn't feel anything because he was so small.
But I can't do that..... But every second I want to.
I don't feel like I can trust men anymore. Not with my heart.
Anyway, I guess I just really need to talk about it and I'm not telling my mom. I'm ashamed to tell my friend Beth and I told Sydonee and we talked about it for a long time yesterday.
Any encouraging words would be nice if you make it this far in my post.
Love,
A
I'm just so mad.
Bad sex does happen, unfortunately. And he does sound a bit clueless. But I don't know if I'd go as far as to say he's horrible.
Remember you just were obsessing about this person and now you've made this dramatic switch. I say step back from it, even if you do break up, and get some perspective and occupy your time with something else.
hugs