Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Times are tough all over, I am an honest and honorable person, and seeking honest and honorable employment, at least until my disability claim is approved.
Thing is, my mind keeps wanting to consider less-than-honest and other-than-legal means of raising enough money to ease my financial struggle.
I always stop myself with the knowledge that I am an absolute novice at criminal activity, therefor far too likely to screw up and find myself dead or in prison (not necessarily in that order) after a single failed attempt.
Among the things that flash through my head are:
a major bank heist - after LOADS of planning, research, proper timing and target selection for maximum take and minimum risk of injury to anyone, still too likely foiled by my own inexperience.
Import a few kilos of high-dollar drugs - just enough to get enough cash to get back on my feet. I have some clever ways to avoid getting caught in the smuggling part, but, again, destined to failure for my inexperience - I'd very likely buy from or sell to an undercover cop the very first time.
Money laundering. This one is most promising for me, I think I could do it well with a certain start-up reservoir, but getting out would be the hard part, and depending on whose money I was laundering, wouldn't have to worry about prison or trial - just wind up with a bullet to the head.
There are others that come to mind, but I think I've made my point well enough.
I am not NEARLY desperate enough to actually TRY anything like this, but sometimes it's difficult to keep my mind from wandering into the "Dark Side" from time to time.
Any of you guys have similar fleeting thoughts?
If so what goes on in your devious mind?
and How have you fared - whether acting on these machinations with success or failure, or ridding yourself of such thoughts?
Again, I have a long to-do list, but being dead or in prison are not on that list.
Share as you please. I just want to compare notes, and see if there's anyone else out there who's had similar contemplations.
- KK
Thing is, my mind keeps wanting to consider less-than-honest and other-than-legal means of raising enough money to ease my financial struggle.
I always stop myself with the knowledge that I am an absolute novice at criminal activity, therefor far too likely to screw up and find myself dead or in prison (not necessarily in that order) after a single failed attempt.
Among the things that flash through my head are:
a major bank heist - after LOADS of planning, research, proper timing and target selection for maximum take and minimum risk of injury to anyone, still too likely foiled by my own inexperience.
Import a few kilos of high-dollar drugs - just enough to get enough cash to get back on my feet. I have some clever ways to avoid getting caught in the smuggling part, but, again, destined to failure for my inexperience - I'd very likely buy from or sell to an undercover cop the very first time.
Money laundering. This one is most promising for me, I think I could do it well with a certain start-up reservoir, but getting out would be the hard part, and depending on whose money I was laundering, wouldn't have to worry about prison or trial - just wind up with a bullet to the head.
There are others that come to mind, but I think I've made my point well enough.
I am not NEARLY desperate enough to actually TRY anything like this, but sometimes it's difficult to keep my mind from wandering into the "Dark Side" from time to time.
Any of you guys have similar fleeting thoughts?
If so what goes on in your devious mind?
and How have you fared - whether acting on these machinations with success or failure, or ridding yourself of such thoughts?
Again, I have a long to-do list, but being dead or in prison are not on that list.
Share as you please. I just want to compare notes, and see if there's anyone else out there who's had similar contemplations.
- KK
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
As a youngster I belonged to gangs, beat up people, destroyed property, took drugs, engaged in small time criminal activities, as in going to parties and stealing stuff from the homes. I with my gang used to vandalize cars, shoot street lights, etc.
But once I became an adult, got a career and got married I changed my behavior completely. I even became involved in my church.
I know you have monetary needs, who doesn't? Hell, I had a job that paid me enough for me to lead a rich life and now I am disabled and my income is only 1/6 of what I used to make, so I have had to get used to a major downsizing in my life.
But I have a conscience and could not live with myself if I stole from others.
Just last week they gave me too much change at the supermarket and I gave it back to them. I felt bad about keeping it.
I have often asked myself if I would go ahead with a perfect crime, one where there was no way I would get caught. I doubt ther is such a thing.
I used to travel all over the country on business and was proposed by drug traffickers to become a 'mule' for them at $50,000 a pop, carrying drugs in my luggage from city to city. I refused to do it. The money was very attractive, but I felt if I did so they would own me for life.
You will get through these difficult times, I know. Do not ruin your life.
I know all about money problems. I have the same problem. I am on a fixed income and money is not a luxury. So, don't do any of those bad things. Times are hard but you can do it.
PS. I wonder how many times this will post.
I hope you stay on the straight and narrow and just keep these ideas as stress relieving fantasies.
I simply don't have what it takes either to do these things, and certainly wouldn't last 5 minutes (generous estimate) in prison. LOL!
- KK
In a way I am glad the fantasies all turn out bad, at least that makes it unlikely for you to try turn them into reality.
I love free will, though, and the proliferating laws are like a red flag in my face. Love to break them for the sake of being contrary. I fantasize about starting up the Coalition for Fewer Laws where we get a jail-jamming number of people together to break another "None of Your Business" law every week.
It's illegal here in my state for gay marriages - I am straight, so maybe I enter into a "gay marriage" with a friend - just to make a sensational point of it - a media circus, a three-ring trial - all just to make the point that not recognizing it is bullshit.
The opposing view claims that same-sex marriages would destroy the institution of marriage and family. I say that "regular" marriage has already done that. Only half of them succeed as it is.
Is there any other worthless legislation you can think of to violate en masse just to f*** with the system?
On a side note, the same sex marriage thing could have incredible financial repercussions, too - the interviews, the publicity, the book, the movie, etc.!