I used to have similar problems with anger and rage like what you are describing here until I started taking a good antipsychotic that worked well for me. I'm on 240mg of Geodon. Are you on an antipsychotic? Is it something you've thought about? Something you've discussed with your pdoc?

Oh yes, sounds like a replay of my life. I never forget things like that and my kids don't either (after 20 years so far) so we just have to make the best of it.

I understand. I used to be that way. I was in a rage all the time, would throw and break things, punch holes in walls, but not touch my kids. The fear it put them through literally put me in my place. I worked very hard in therapy to learn to quell my behavior when I am angry. It takes time but if you work with your therapist and CBT, DBT, EFT, you can learn to control the anger and modify your behavior.

I am so sorry because I know how painful and frustrating it is. I went through the same thing with my own father and I made the vow to break the cycle before I caused any more mental damage to my children. That was 15 years ago and it has made a huge difference.

Hugs

i was also very angry with my kids and hubby all the time. then i was dx with bipolar. got on meds, things have been better. there's been the up and downs of course, but its not as severe.

i took to throwing things, pulling out my hair, banging my head on the wall. but never took it out on my kids.

1. Try to get some medication. I have the same problem and medicine really helps.

2. Its very good that you have never hit your kids out of anger, however you need to release that anger on something or you will go crazy.

Here's what I do. I have a lot of crappy things in the basement or a different room that I can break when I am mad, so then it doesn't matter. I also will buy pieces of dry wall at the store and I will punch holes in them so I don't do any damage to my house. I get to release my anger, break something big, and to be honest it makes me feel pretty good about myself to have smashed something. I know that probably sounds weird but try it. At least for the anger part of the situation, it is great to have something to take it out on. My only issue now is that dry wall isn't very cheap. Give it a shot.

I am so very sorry that you got to that stage Young, but let me tell you, I have no children, (for this very reason) and Im sorry I cant offer you no sympathy nor empathy. Your children are your children, if you cant control yourself then hey time to get yourself off to the doctors. Dont assume your child is BP (cop out on your behalf methinks) He only knows what he sees...........gees this is why I never had children...........go see a pydoc or whatever, and get the appropriate meds and stop taking it out on your offspring.........this post makes me mad as hell........gees

you know what what BP is diagnosed way too easily these days, I could be wrong, but at the end of the day YOU are the parent - act like one

uuuggh!