In October, I tried to kill myself. My first real attempt. I took three bottles+ of medication, that I had just gotten filled, so they were full bottles.

I don't quite remember how I got to the hospital... I stopped breathing on my own, and I had to be shocked back to life. The hospital put me I'm a coma, to prevent any more brain damage. I was I'm the ICU for three days, and them got transferred to the mental ward.

I hardly remember anything that happened during my I entire stay. I get flashes, now and again, as to what happened while I was there. I mostly just remember blackness.

I felt like there was no hope for my life anymore and that I was a total burden to everyone in my life.

It turned out (to my awe) that family and friends actually loved me. I don't know why I couldn't see that before... I can't believe how selfish it was of me to scar my loved ones emotions.

Days may get hard, and sometimes I still have the thoughts... But I could never do that again. I have my doctors office hold on to my pills, and I go weekly to get refills.

My mother showed me a picture she took when I was in a coma, with a breathing tube down my throat. That image is branded into my mind. I can't begin to imagine how it affected my family, that came to the hospital.

Some people have guilt for not dying. However, this is not the case for me. I know now, no matter what, I can do anything I set my mind to (in good ways). If I can walk away from literal death, I can be a good, loving, kind, compassionate, etc... I value my life more than I ever have now.

So, for people who feel like giving up- DON'T!!! It can, and will get better, I promise.

Hugs and Blessings to everyone!