Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Here it is, four o'clock in the morning and I'm still up. last night I went to bed at eleven and got back up at two thirty.
I'm freaking out about seeing my second new psychiarist in the last six months on Tuesday even though I know I need to see him in a bad way. I pace around my place like a cat in a cage and I can hardly make myself eat a bite. All of this is going on at the same time as I run a huge depression to boot and I don't know how it's possible to be so far gone both ways. I feel like the most huge loser in the world because I've been on disability for about seven years and I think about what bridge I'll end up sleeping under when the bottom falls out of my living situation, though I know that I'll be dead if it comes to that. I even have a plan on how to do it and THAT scares the hell out of me. I really don't want to lose to this fucked up disease but when you feel like I do you know what it's like to walk a razor line with no shoes on, above a huge chasm. I'm starting to lose my ability to put on my normal man mask and if the people around me knew just how screwed up I am I'd end up in the hospital and I do not want to go there, locked away with the other nutbars and wondering what side of my mouth to dribble out of each day.
I"m in serious need of some sign of support from people who know what it's like to be massively depressed and hugely anxious at the same time. It seems like an oxymoron to me but it's the life I lead and dream about.
Anyone out there ever been here before?
I could use a little help my friends.
I'm freaking out about seeing my second new psychiarist in the last six months on Tuesday even though I know I need to see him in a bad way. I pace around my place like a cat in a cage and I can hardly make myself eat a bite. All of this is going on at the same time as I run a huge depression to boot and I don't know how it's possible to be so far gone both ways. I feel like the most huge loser in the world because I've been on disability for about seven years and I think about what bridge I'll end up sleeping under when the bottom falls out of my living situation, though I know that I'll be dead if it comes to that. I even have a plan on how to do it and THAT scares the hell out of me. I really don't want to lose to this fucked up disease but when you feel like I do you know what it's like to walk a razor line with no shoes on, above a huge chasm. I'm starting to lose my ability to put on my normal man mask and if the people around me knew just how screwed up I am I'd end up in the hospital and I do not want to go there, locked away with the other nutbars and wondering what side of my mouth to dribble out of each day.
I"m in serious need of some sign of support from people who know what it's like to be massively depressed and hugely anxious at the same time. It seems like an oxymoron to me but it's the life I lead and dream about.
Anyone out there ever been here before?
I could use a little help my friends.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
You are definitely not alone.
Just try and hang on in there. Hopefully you'll get some different meds on Tuesday and life will be bearable again.
Glad you here! Hang out with us, answer other's post : ) The best way to take your/my mind of my problems is to focus/help someone else : )
((((BIG HUG)))) Do hold on, it can and will get better - wishing you peace and comfort ASAP!!!
I'm sorry you are feeling so shitty right now. I hope your visit with your pdoc can help you level out a bit... hugs!
I hope you like your new doc on Tuesday....He's there to help you open... I was put on Perphenazine to bring me out of this state and it worked really well within a few days
Great big hug of comfort for you.. I hope you feel better soon...x
You are definitely NOT alone. *HUGS*
I have ordinary depressions and some hypomania but they don't compare to the mixed state episodes which are truly scary and horrible.
New pdoc... this could be good! Maybe you could sit down and journal about the mixed state. Write about moods... what meds you're on, what's worked, what hasn't...
In that type of state, its hard to remember what to communicate to the Dr... (I've been so upset and sat and bauled the whole time... )
There's a lot of experience and support here... many good suggestions... I hope you'll hang in there till your appointment... but if it gets unbearable call a crisis line or go to the ER ...
Take Care of you. Its important... You're important...
Unfortunately my new psychiatrist didn't change my meds, he wants to do a blood level test on things to see where we stand. I really want to take less medication since I also take meds for a chronic bad back and for asthma to boot. My dresser looks like a pharmacy shelf. Once we get things settled down I plan to mention that perphenazine to him and see what he thinks.
By the way, the new guy seems pretty good and spent a lot of time going over my case with me. It wasn't just the old in and out, here's your scrip. I see him in two more weeks now and if there's anything wrong with my blood work I hope he'll phone me.
Thanks to all of you out there. I still can't shake this feeling but at least I'm not alone.