Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I've been on the downward spiral. Life is looking real grim for me right now. The Geodon is not helping with my sleep at all and I take it with food like the pdoc said. I was up riding around town at 4 this morning, wanted to flag down a cop and just go off. Geodon has helped with the racy thoughts, but not the irrational. I am tired of this merry-go-round. I am tired of feeling alone. I am tired of writing the same shit day in and day out. I am tired of the guilt that I feel over being depressed and thinking about suicide, when I know there are people out there suffering so much more. I am tired of the pain and how I take it out on everyone around me. I am tired of my life, I don't understand why it has to be this way. I am tired of reading about how bipolars can live productive lives. It breaks my heart that I've not found that yet and I feel that I never will. I'm tired of not being able to put things in perspective. I'm guilt ridden over thinking, if only I hadn't had the boys I'd be able to kill myself and end this torture. I'm tried of being told to call the pdoc when I feel this way and getting told to go to the ER. My life isn't working and I don't know what to do....
deleted_user
Your pain is as valid as anyone elses and I am so sorry you are hurting so bad right now. I remember being that depressed and hopeless. Was for years and thought I would never come out of it. I am still depressed everyday of my life, but it has gotten easier. I have to believe it will get easier for you too. Maybe not in the near future, but someday. Till then, I don't know of anything that will help. Sorry. Wish I could take away your pain.
deleted_user
I am with lupi in her sentiments. Maybe a med change is in order, I was on Geodon and it didn't work for me so, keep trying something else to make you stable. Take care and God Bless...
deleted_user
I wish this med was working better for you. Maybe a new one will offer more promise. Hang in there
JennS
I have felt the same way. I'm sorry you feel this way. It does sound like you need a different med. I know you're probably tired of hearing that but it is a trial and error until they find the right one.
deleted_user
tats..i so hear you....i feel like this so so much.....when i took geodon, it made me want to jump out of my skin...i was sleep deprived and couldn't sleep...my doctor put me on zyprexa and that made me sleep like a baby....that is also an anti-psychotic and it really helps with the racing thoughts and helps you see more clearly..maybe you oughta talk to your pdoc about changing your anti-psychotic...the onlyl down side to going on zyprexa is that it is a bit of a weight-gainer..but i would much rather be over-weight and sane...anyway, i send you my love, and peace for u sister...xoxo, maggie
deleted_user
Hugs.
deleted_user
I know what it is like to feel pain like that.I have been on meds that havent helped and on some now that are the same way.I have already tried to commit suicide twice by OD.All I can say is keep your head up nad keep telling yourself that you can do it.I have to do it on a daily basis.
deleted_user
Yeah it is shit but it does get better....it can be very drawn out but it will lift a little. Be good to yrself..There are certain rules we need to apply for our own sake. They may suck but they work. All the best. Hugs x
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