Yea they ask but if your married with someone that doesn't have a mental illness and a social worker that can recommend for you. I also am majoring in early childhood education so I can run a day care, so I think that might help with adoption. But I don't know.

Your eyes are open, though, you are talking about possible setbacks, and that you know you are not ready right now. That is a very good thing. I did not know I even MIGHT have biopolar when I had kids, and at least one of them (the one that committed suicide) probably did.
The only other thing I can think of is, that BP tends to worsen with age, so things might get more difficult later on. Do you have family who can help you if/when you need it?

My neighbor is adopting because she is on Depakote (for seizures). They're adopting from China because the system is centralized, well-overseen, and as wrinkle-free as it gets in adoption. Their agency charges $15,000 per kid, (less for twins), and that's considered cheap. They're now thinking about going for a biological child after all.

BTW, me too. I have one child, and she's a year and a half, and her tantrums seem to me so extreme at times. I keep wondering if I'll be looking back to these days and say "yeah, it was obvious even then". It's a little dispiriting. I'm so determined to have at least one more kid, and now I'm wondering if that's really smart. My husband is not 100% sane either, and with two BP parents...

This is my justification for having more biological children: I was severely abused as a child. If I had a normal childhood, my BP would have probably been less. Maybe it wouldn't have shown. I am well enough today that I can give my children a relatively stress-free childhood, so their statistics will be better than mine. Even if they had BP, they'd probably have it less severely, I'll be three on the lookout for them, and there's more and better treatment available for them. I don't think of my BP as such a great handicap. (This is the crucial point, which I imagine will change as I learn more about how it had affected my life.) And finally, I'm not sure how I can handle adoption. That's stressful too. (This is the selfish part of the reasoning.) And more finally, we already have one biological child, and are so in love with her, that we want more of the same stock. (more selfish reasons...)

I dated a guy who was diagnosed with diabetes at age 9 and truly believed god did it to him because god hated him. He believed this till he was 25 and his 3 year old niece was diagnosed with diabetes. Then we decided that god gave him diabetes so that he could know exactly how to be there and support his neice. My point being, if I did pass on bipolar to my child, I would feel like god gave me that child because I will know how to be there and give that child the suport I needed and did not have.
Its better than passing on a crack addiction to a poor helpless child too. I guess I feel like there are worse things than bipolar in this world.

Well, JG28, I think that would work if the overall incidence were 1% for everyone, but it's known that it is 30% for children with one BP parent. So if you have 5 kids, as some do, you're pretty much guaranteed to pass it to at least one of them. Then it's not a question of what IF GOD gives a child BP. It's a question of what WHEN YOU give the child BP. So it's a bit more complicated, and demands a little more personal awareness. Other than that, if you look at the right angle, your argument kind of follows some of mine, even though mine are strictly secular.

My pdoc said there was a 10% chance of a BP parent having a BP child. That gives you a 90% chance of not having one. Plus now there are quicker diagnoses than there used to be and better meds. You would be very aware if one of your kids ended up with it. But I do understand your concern. It's not an easy decision to make.

ps.. I should clarify that my 'god' is not other ppls 'God'.. that is just a word I put in a sentence, probably ill of me. But I have grown up watching my parents raise a son with severe physical and mental handicaps and know first hand what its like to be a sibling with this in the house and what its like to watch parents go through everything with that child. My mom answeres my questions directly too if I feel the need to know how it was/is for her and dad. It has been one devastation and nightmare after another for 20 years but in a million years they would not have their son be anyone elses but their own. Although I'm sure I'll need to do some preparations if I were to decide to be a mother.. first things first.. build myself a padded room. I do have the overwhelming support of my sister and parents which is a blessing. I have in the past decided not to be a mother but I have felt devastated by that decision. Boy what a lot to think about

Thanks everyone for your input obviously I have a lot of thinking to do, but lucky for me I have plenty of time to think about it since I'm only 22 and trying to get myself better first. But I just wanted to know other people's thoughts on the subject.