Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Hi all, recently things have gotten better as far as my mind goes, but I feel as though things have been thrown at me left and right recently. As I have said I am in my thrid year of school, which honestly I was not sure if I would even get this far, but I have and i am very proud (I guess). I am saying I am proud but am very upset with myself for things I still have not accomplised like living on my own, holding down a full time job and I know this sounds silly but even leaving my first college which I lived at, I AM SO MAD AT MYSELF FOR. Its been 2 years since I left and I left because I was in and out in patient hospital 3 times. i just am sad because when I left to come home and focus on this I feel like I haven't had a life of my own. I lost all of my friends, I lost my soroity, I lost the person I was and had created,all of my friends, the professors who had began to mentor me in a way. Now I am home all day every day, because my car went out in January and my parents don't have the money to get me another one, which its like they should not even have to worry about that because I am 21. Also another thing thats happened is my dad lost his insurance so at the end of the month I will have no insurance as I was under him. He feels bad but I should have a job and my own insurance at this point in my life, at my age. Now I am stuck even if I wanted to get a part time job, which my family advises againt because I am in school and they want me to focus on one thing, I can't since I have no car and now will I have to stop taking my Lithium and Prozac and seeing my docotor?? Which is the reason I moved home so wtf like I tried to do the right thing by myself by leaving school and focusing on this mental health but what was the point of all that now. I have no friends, and no life outside of this home and that does make me feel sorry for myself, I used to be the girl who could light up the room and now all i do is school work and cry lol. I am relgious myself so I do put my faith in God but obviously with religion comes doubt which in turn is another thing I feel bad about. I know there is no magic answer to my situation and time is key but it is hard and i just needed to vent. Thanks for reading <3
-
Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
-
In all it's splendid colour!!I'm up for a very short time I hope...It's too early for me but I always seem to have these early awake times where I'm not quite ready to get upAnother chore day for me as I didn't get done all I wanted to yestetdayI hope that your day is blessed...xo
There are better meds you could/should be on.
Lets get your meds straight then we can put the finger in your dike of problems.
I don't know your history of hospital/drs/therapy....I'm writing you might want to think about researching going on SS disability. You would have insurance which is a huge factor to give you peace of mind.
My son has autism, he is on disability but works 24hrs a week, so you could still work...you might need to look up the amount of income for your state....and you could continue with college....or
finish out your current year of classes, then maybe think about working if you have a full load of classes now.
As for regrets of decisions made in the past, hun, the past is the past and you did what you needed to do 'at that time'. If you continue with DBT, try using the positive/negatives to write out the hamster wheel of 'stuff that is worrying you' on paper to help clarify....writing really helps when the doubt thinking is going on and you are questioning so much.
I do hope you are continuing with drinking lots of fluids while on lithium! So Important! BP1 is a challenge for sure and it takes time to recover....please be gentle with yourself <3
You are catastrophizing....... Dumping everything into one huge melting pot so it's impossible to manage
These are days for baby steps.... Try and focus just on one day and interrupt yourself if you start to think about months at a time
Noone can manage all of that.... Even one hour at a time is a good way to break things down so that you aren't overwhelmed
What can I do today in order to make it better??.... If you are concerned about your meds and doctor. see your doc before insurance runs out and discuss what your fears are
Maybe he/she can refer you to a social worker for help or a medication program
If you are into a church that's a good way to meet new people or MeetUp's are free
Another hug of support and peace.... xo
One step at a time. Looking at the big picture is scary but taking each day as it comes, and doing your best, is sometimes all we can Do.
I do hope you can work something out to keep seeing your doc and getting meds.
Is there anyone affiliated with your school’s health departments to reach out to?
Im also on lithium and its been a miracle for me :)
As well as being on disability i have state insurance so i dont pay out of pocket for any medical or mental health bills
My sympathies to you! BIpolar Illness is full of challenges. One of the great joys for me working as a counselor and case manager years ago was meeting regularly with adults newly diagnosed or having dealt with this chronically. A bright, bright creative line of people, like you with much to be proud of...!
It is difficult for anyone to be gentle with themselves when health issues impact personal goals and worries set in about goals and competency and
treatment access and EVERYTHING you have on your plate for adult function and goals. But I'm guessing everyone here (with or without BPI) has gone into difficult health or personal situations and catastrophized, and we'd all be reaching to remind you to just breathe, and take things by little steps, and be thinking of probably everyone on this post reaching out with a hug or best wish or pat on the back, so proud of you doing the bits you can reasonably do at the moment.
Keep following your doctor's best advice on medication and what you decide in consultation there. It sounds like you have found useful medications that work well for you, and your family are supportive as best they are able and want you focused on your health at this time, maybe taking a break on your more extensive academic/career goals.
I used to do initial SSI evaluations, (reviewed and co-signed with the agency psychiatrist) to submit to qualify for disability. That was long ago, but at the time a first application was typically denied, but a subsequent application was usually approved. Two important things to keep in mind 1. Don't give up, and 2. When benefits were approved, they were backdated and paid to the time of the first application. I don't know if this is still true, but a mental health case manager, or a hospital social worker, or your physiatrist would likely be aware be able to tell you if this is still true.
Hoping you get the word on financial aid you're hoping for, and how it would be affected by SSI disability status if at all.
You can manage This---But just don't be trying for everything you had not quite expected at 21 to be settled all at once. LITTL:E bites!