Wishing we weren't living nearly 3000 miles from one another. I have people I've been connected to through John and obtaining services for him...and a good friend, really good friend, but she works 12hr days and only has weekends off so we get together only once in a while. It is hard for me to make friends, dang trust issues with others, and with myself. I never really know how I might feel from one day to the next. hoping your hole becomes more shallow with each day! ((Hugs))

Yes, it would be fun to get together for lunch. It is hard for me to make friends because I'm shy. Big hugs.

I'm glad you're able to cry and let some of the pain out. I struggle with crying and don't seem to do enough of it even tho I get very sad. (Sometimes I think its the meds stunting my emotions but thats another topic.) I feel tired of battling my illness too Jenn. Its f***king exhausting. I seem to be throwing everything at it and nothing seems to be sticking. That's depressing in and of itself. Lots of people say tho, that depression comes and goes naturally. So maybe its best just to hunker down and hold on for the end, white knuckling it as they say. Some days are better than others. Here's to hoping tomorrow is a better day for you. Hang in there.

Thank you.

This is what a symptom of the depression side is.... I always try to be aware of symptoms when cycling as it can not necessarily seem like part of a disorder when we're in the midst of it but who we are and that it's hopeless... Recognizing it as a treatable symptom and something that I can be aware of makes it easier for me
There are MeetUp's all over the US Jennifer for a variety of things... You could google MeetUp's in your area and see what's available... There are some for different disorders and some people simply 'MeetUp' for coffee.... Big hug for you and a blessing....xo

I certainly can feel your pain. I recently moved to Florida so the sunny days help my moods although being so far from my family & friends saddens me. Besides my husband I only know one other person in my town. The "Meet Up" sounds like a good idea. Hugs.

If wishes were dreams! I have always talked about meeting up with DS friends, but I seem to be far from most of them, being in western Canada. We are going to the southern US after Christmas to find some warmth and sun. There will be at least one person I met on DS we will be visiting.

I am sorry you are so depressed. I lived in Oregon as a child, and I learned to love the rain. After 6 months of winter, and no sunlight, and -40 in Edmonton, the rain seemed more friendly. However, I do get what you are saying. We lived in Greater Vancouver, BC for many years, and my husband became extremely depressed. When we moved to Edmonton, despite the lack of winter light, he really improved.
He hates the endless, bleak rain!

Right now we are in the interior of BC, and we do get rain, but a lot less than the coast. We spent the afternoon mowing the lawn, pulling out dead vegetables and flowers in the sun. Not super warm but a nice feeling to get out.

We don't have any family here, since my youngest son, his wife and our grandchildren moved to Hong Kong. But we do Facetime all the time, and also with our other son who lives 7 hours away, with our other grandchildren. It's not quite the same I know! We also have a really good church, and that helps us connect with people locally. Despite many people having gone to this church their whole lives, they have readily accepted us.

Perhaps you could find a group where you could do something with people with common interests? Maybe a book club, or exercise group, something spiritual or a gardening club? I hope you get my drift! It's not about these specific activities but finding something you like to do, and connecting with other people who like to do it.

The other thing I would suggest is talking to your doctor. You may need a med change, or more or an antidepressant. He should also know that you are in a low mood, so he can watch you a bit more closely.

I, strictly personal, have been faring allot better since I quit fighting *it.* I believe I am a natural born fighter and when I fight *it,* I seem to be the one who ends up with most of the black eyes. Innocent by-standers get most of the rest. Every so often I manage to land a black eye on somebody who deserves it, but folks who *deserve* it are pretty danged good at getting out of the way.

". . . just going where the day takes me" makes it easier to keep *it* gentle and compassionate.

But that is me. . . For you. . .

Here is a cyber-shoulder for your next morning cry. Keep sorting, Jen. Your own answers are in there.

Thank you everyone. It was meetups where I found the bipolar support group I attend. I used to attend and art group from meetups but they lost their venue and it moved to an area that is a long drive to an unfamiliar place. I will look on meet up again. Hugs.