OK I don't know if anyone is on that spoke with me when I was freaking out late last week. General consensus was that I should call my PDOC and make an appointment. Well I didn't want to, but I finally did. I just made the appointment. I don't want to go, and I am already thinking... gee maybe I can cancel but I know I need to go before I totally destroy my job! I'm really edgy today... so Friday the 26th of OCtober I was down/angry... one week later Friday the 2nd of November was so elated it was unreal. Today I'm so agitated! So yes I'm a mess. I just feel like when I go in there. It's hi how are you... PDOC hears "blah blah blah blah" and responds "more meds anyone! oh and give me all your money". You know like they aren't really in this with you. I want a PDOC that really invests themselves in us. Just can't find one. You know.I guess we really only go to get dosage changes but I guess I think there should be a lengthier process to determining the actual necessity of the change. This stuff seems like a bunch of guess work I guess :-)...
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??