(((hugs))) tats- I really understand what you are feeling. I actually was offered a PT job helping at an antique/consignment place that I frequent...... Still haven't committed due to anxiety. I do work PT already at the Vets but I am use to that.

All I can offer is a keep trying and maybe as some time passes you will find that comfort zone. Anxiety is not a good friend and it lies to us!!

Do the best you can and I do hope it improves. xo

Thanks so much Banshie, appreciate it very much!

I sure hope I get more comfortable I really want to keep working there......time will tell and as usual I will do my very best.

Thanks again!

Hope today is a good one!! mwah!

good luck and hopefully like meds it just needs time to get used to. be kind to yourself!

I just cannot keep taking extra klonopin or I will run out and not have enough for the month....sigh

The worry comes and goes and I go running for the klonopin....talking to myself isn't helping much. Then I get upset that I am worrying like a dork.....guess they don't tell me I am BP for nothing huh??

It just bums me out that I'm having such difficulty with a few hours of work, that I can't get it through my head to relax and make this a fun time ya know??

The clock is ticking and I'm waxing and waning again......and I can't cry because I just put some mascara on damn it anyway!!!!

I hope today is better than yesterday. Can you listen to music while you work? Can they give you written orders for sandwiches so you can listen to music or even meditative sounds? Might take your mind off of your anxiety a little. Good luck and all the more power to you for getting out and getting a P/T job!

Great big hug for you sweetie.... I know how much this means to you..

I agree with some time passing might let you feel more comfortable .. I go through a really difficult time with change as well but I find once the change becomes a regular thing I seem to calm down...

Would meditating for a while before you leave for work help do ya think?...xo

tats I really am proud of you that you can attempt this. I am one that can not even do a part time job and I stress at the thought of even leaving the house to go to one of my kids ball games. you are right you can not keep taking extra klonopin. but during times of extra stress we are taught to lean upon our support systems and I was thinking that maybe a short term med adjustment would be in order. please take care of you and I hope that everything goes well. I think the music idea is wonderful as well. you know the owner well it seems, maybe talk with them and see if they have any ideas they could suggest to help you help them?

I always had anxiety when I worked. Now I am developing skills for the labour market in my own time.

Oh hugs!!!! I work two hours a week and it is all that I can do!! Some day I don't even want to do that...and it is just working with little kids...cute little kids. I feel for you. You are in my thoughts. And if it is too much, then it is too much. Hang in there. (((((hugs)))))

Of course your uncomfortable! Of course you have anxiety (that's a huge issue for you, right?)

You continue to go - push, and it WILL GET EASIER!!! Think of an athlete, you just don't become a pitcher for a baseball team the first month you try, push, learn and get used to work and effort.

Then doing it everyday - you get stronger and faster, you START to enjoy doing well, the people, the team - you get better, by pushing and praciticing.

Now the thoughts - Woman, you have to replace intrusive thoughts!!!! You can't say Stop, go away bad thoughts - which like a small child, I always start with "Go away" but I learned to have 10 or 20 things READY to use when overwhelmed with negative thoughts... example

I love the Serenity prayer and I can say it a lot in a stressfull hour - but I change it to questions

Accept what I can't change - well, can't change I'm uncomfortable
Change the things I can - I can push and try to get comfortable
Wisdom? Holding on to support, know I'm doing my best, etc, etc, etc

Another one I like - First things first, If I'm freaking out, and have to make a sandwhich - I'd tell my brain, strickly and firm - get the bread first. Break down what I'm doing, the next right thing..... the next action, not THOUGHT!

I have lots of "tools" talk calm and talk myself down - another one, when freaking out - I can do anything for 5 minutes, I couldn't do a life time. so, I grit my teeth for five minutes, than remind myself I can do this another 10 minutes....

If it doesn't work out - so be it, but having a job, people and extra money and responsibility? Does more good in our lives - if we CAN! I hope this works out for you, but if it doesn't - give it your best shot!

LMAO But like a new medicine - give it a month, you will have highs and lows, and it always gets easier!!!!! Much love and prayers coming your way women! I'm so proud of you for trying - and truly understand your strife.... but it does get better, and the IT is YOU!!!!!!

ha ha, just the break from the guys in your house should be worth a little anxiety! : )

(((HUGS)))

I've had a job application sitting on my table since July !

It's for a part time job, seating people ...no cash register, I wouldn't even have to take drink orders .

I am too stressed about thinking about it

I took a job working 20 hours a week at Target as a cashier. My anxiety went through the roof. Fear of messing up and getting fired was my worst fear. It's 2 years later, I still have the job and I still have to take extra klonopin to get through the day. (MY pdoc gave me extra to take if I need it) I'm not afraid of getting fired anymore, I think it is just being around people that keeps me anxious. Or maybe it's that I just want to do a good job, get myself worked up over it.

Anyway, I just wanted to say actually that the anxiety is not near as bad as it was, it took a while though for me to calm down. Just take your klonopin and do your best and know that it will get better with time. Don't get down on yourself for having the anxiety. It's just the BP, I think.

Hey, I admire any of you who can work PT or FT. As I do not work due to the emotional ups and downs, and the physcial stuff, I think those of you who do, or even attempt to give it a shot, are awesome! So, I can't begin to offer advice on how to handle it all. I definitely understand not wanting to use up your Klonopin before refill date. I hate it when that happens. It just causes more worry and anxiety that you'll run out to early!

I just wanted to offer my admiration and support. (((hugs)))

I appreciate everyones support more than I can express in words!

I'm still hanging in here....but my chest is starting to hurt as it's getting closer for me to leave the house. Once I get up in the shop and start talking with the boss I feel a little better.

I might have to tell him 3 days a week is all I can handle....Will still has just under and month with his treatment and I am doing just about everything at the house too...ugh!! HE does what he can but he can't do much right now and it will be 6 months before he feels like his old self..per doc saying so.

So I just don't know at this point, I feel like I have to give up all my crafts and I have actually been selling things at the shop I have them in!!!!! Which makes me so very happy......I don't want to give my crafts up because that is where my sense of accomplishment comes in ya know?

It take a long time to make handmade items...not just an hour!!! The prep time...the actual making of the item then tagging and pricing....etc.

Sorry for the long post I am just trying to figure out what I am capable of doing here......got some kinks to work out here ya know??

But thanks so much....I'm using aromatherapy before I go into work...it helps...hell if I could bathe in it I'd be alright!!!! Maybe?? LOL

Love you all and miss you too...will keep ya posted!!!