Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Its coming for me

PaganSpirit
PaganSpirit
I don't know what to do with myself. I have been so irritable lately. I get wicked annoyed at everything real quick. Im frustrated with my moods. Im sad, lonelyfuck Im slipping. I was doing pretty good for about 1 month and now this. Its coming for me, I just know it is. Depression. With that comes the dark thinking and with that comes thoughts of death, SI, and suicide. I can't help it. I can feel it taking hold of me. Each day gets worse. Im actually used to this feeling, its happened so much in my life. It saddens me that Im used to being sad. I don't know what to do to fight this. I take my meds, go to therapy every week, try to practice mindfulness. Im not stupid, I know that I will get depressed but fuck me can't I enjoy more than a month of relief from it. I was actually feeling real good. Happy, hypomanic I dare say. I have a hard time asking for help but any words of encouragement or advice would be welcome. Thanks for reading.
sadiegirl13
sadiegirl13
Oh Pagan, I've written posts very similar to this before....(((hugs)))

Remember, no matter what your mood is, good or bad, it's not permanent, everything is always changing. So while the good doesn't last as long as we want it to, the bad doesn't last forever either.

Also remember that *your mood* is not *who you are*. That's not something I'm perfect at yet, but it has helped me a lot - a good friend is always saying that.

Just in case life pulls a quick one on you and this depression doesn't come on like you think it's going to, try not to make it a self-fulfilling prophecy, you know? Try to hang on to the moment, and enjoy any little thing you can.

I sincerely hope I've been helpful here.
-Sadie
PaganSpirit
PaganSpirit
Sadie you have been helpful. Thanks for the kind words, they mean a lot.I do understand that my mood (no matter what it is) will not last forever but I am worried about were the depression will take me while Im there. Isolation (I already do that though), self injury, thoughts of suicide, etc. Its a place I don't want to be no matter how short or long it lasts. As I said, I know this will happen to me but it sucks to feel powerless against it. I like what you said about not making it a self fulfilling prophecy if it doesn't come on as strong as I think. Thats something I am guilty of doing.
sadiegirl13
sadiegirl13
I know about the fear about where it will take you...oy. Let's hope that this isn't that bad, and is surprisingly short. But no matter what, you WILL get through it.
PaganSpirit
PaganSpirit
Thank you for the support, I sure can use it.
dancingd
dancingd
Pagan
The up and down, the waiting for another depression, the feeling like it will never end..... we all have experienced this.

Try to remind yourself that these feelings are biochemical in nature, you didn't cause them.

You are doing everything right to be well.

Hang in there
dizzynini
dizzynini
Oh how many times I have felt this way....the old I know its coming for me. Its temporary, hang in there. We are here for you if you need to talk.
Hugs
Community Leaderacuriousfish
acuriousfish
challenge your doctor to find a med cocktail that works for you - the ones you are on are obviously not sufficient.
Desigol1979
Desigol1979
Hang in there, Dude! It's just a phase.
spacekat
spacekat
I hope you're feeling better by now - hopefully the darkness has passed or is on its way out! I've been where you are and it sucks - I just keep using my light box in the hopes that it will ward off SAD or any other depressive thoughts. I'm keeping a light on for you. HUGS!
PaganSpirit
PaganSpirit
acuriosfishthe med cocktail Im on seemed to be working well for a bit so I can't tell if this is a meds thing or just a normal depression felt by all with bipolar. Sometimes I wonder if a good med cocktail will work all the time and I will never have lows, I doubt it. spacekat..thanks for keeping that light on but I fear the darkness isn't gone but just coming. Ive weathered this storm many times before so I think I can do it again. I just hope I make it out uninjured this time. Thank you all for the support, encouraging words, and hugs. Its so nice to have this support system.
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