Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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tats69 12/22/2011

how one minute I can feel so good and the next feel so full of fear. I know I'm rapid cycling, I have been for weeks now.......sigh

I begin to think about the past....and worry about the future and then ask myself how the hell did I get here??

Sounds like it's time for a klonopin then I'll be tired and have no energy to do a damn thing. sigh

I'm trying real hard not to cry right now...my son is here and I want to keep it together for his sake but I am falling apart on the inside here ad trying to talk myself out of it. I wanted so much more for my life and here I sit each morning TRYING to find things to do to occupy my fn time. For anyone contemplating disability.....try like hell to find the right meds and coping skills so that you can keep working, ssdi isn't all that glorious.

I wish I wasn't me so often, well uh oh I am losing it right now.....

tats69 12/22/2011

I was told I have borderline tendencies and I guess that explains why I feel like I do at times......I look in the mirror and don't even recognize the person staring back at me.....this day is starting to take a turn for the worst. I just don't know what happens to me and wish someone could explain it.....but who better knows but myself whoever that is.

I'm upset right now and trying to make sense of whats going on.....sigh

deleted_user 12/22/2011

Yeah, me too. Up and down like a yo-yo.

Just got the dreaded, "Did you take your pill?" from the dreaded phone call from the dreaded sister.

I told her, yeah, I been taking an extra dose of fuckitol all week. Saving the damitol for her party.

Sigh!!!! Needless to say, she didn't get it. Just go with it tatty-tat. Don't dig too deep.

tats69 12/22/2011

Thanks Mk, I'm trying not to think too much here.....it's dangerous for me to think too much.

I'm looking for my fuckitol now!! Want to do something but can't think of a damn thing that I REALLY want to do....sigh

deleted_user 12/22/2011

sorry it's so up-and-down right now tats.
(((huge hugs))) deep breaths, you can get through this.

deleted_user 12/22/2011

I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this. I wish I knew what to say. I don't rapid cycle. My cycles are usually very long. But I know when depression hits, it's going to be with me for a long time! It really bites. I think I could use some fuckitol myself. Sending hugs and warm wishes.

tats69 12/22/2011

Thanks everyone.....

Just mixed up a batch of cookies......gonna put some Christmas music on and to hell with this mood swing.....it'll pass like they always do right!

deleted_user 12/22/2011

I cycle very rapidly, too. The thing is that even though you've done it plenty of times, you still tend to wonder if you'll get stuck this time and often you don't even remember that the cycle will end. It's easy for people to tell you that you'll be out by then end of the day or in a few days/weeks, but this is happening to you not them. I hate being an ultra rapid, it sucks big time. Good luck to you tats and hold on tight.

tats69 12/22/2011

Yeah I don't get to much understanding at home......I'm told it's all in the way I think. Thanks for all the support I know most of you understand. I know our thoughts carry alot of weight but when you have a fucking chemical imbalance that causes irrational thinking....then WTF????

I'm getting more and more agitated as the day goes on here.....the cookies didn't help a damn thing.

deleted_user 12/22/2011

It's terrible that you don't get much understanding at home. When I was diagnosed my sister tried to read up on bipolar to get a better understanding of my illness. It's nice to have someone who understands, or at least tries to.

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