I'm so sorry this happened. Sounds like you and
your therapist have some communication
problems that do need to be addressed. Be sure
to tell him that and how angry he made you and
especially that you started cutting. I'm not
trying to make excuses for him but may be he
got involved in an emergency situation. He
still could have left a message with his
office staff that he got tied up and would
call you back as soon as possible. I don't
blame you a bit for being hurt and angry. But
wait and see what he says before firing him
and getting another therapist. I'm sending
you hugs and hope you are feeling better.

Yes, I think its normal to feel upset when you need help, reach out for it and don't get it.

You have every right to be angry. You're paying this "therapist" to help you, not to play phone tag. He's being completely unprofessional and irresponsible and you should demand an explanation and an apology. I will respectfully disagree with DebbieX, though, and say that if you're not getting the level of care you need, you do need to find a new therapist.

But please don't hurt yourself again. You don't deserve pain because somebody else messed up.

Hugs!

I talked to him today. He does not have office staff..... I leave messages directly on his voice mail. He said he got my message but it was already 7 and he didn't want to disrupt my evening.. which is total BS because I left a msg at 645 and it was obvious I was upset.
He had called to give me the number of a guy with a PhD.... who he thought would be better suited to help since "all I seem to do is make you mad." So he gave me the name and number... I laid into him about the calls... told him I cut myself and he ignored it. He told me not to yell at him. not to play games with him... he kept telling me how it's all a choice... and.... I have grown a lot and I still have a lot of potential it just seems he has done all he can for me.. he also said he would continue to see me but I really need to think about seeing this other guy as well. He was not involved in an emergency... he got done working at 7 and was "just done, needed to go home." he said person to person, not therapist to client, he has taken on more than he can handle with his private practice... and I said so... you take on more people than you can handle and we all get shitty care? he was like uhhI'm trying to find my balance.... WHATEVER. So I tried calling this guy.. just to find out he's not accepting new patients and he's on vacation anyways until the 10th. Called the therapist and flipped out... on him.. he actually answered for once.... he told me to stop screaming at him... I was saying something like you think your time is more valuable than mine.. and... you should check with the new guy if he's accepting people before you tell me to waste my time and call...he told me in the first call how this guy was his friend and totally cool.. blah blah.... he told me to stop playing games with the time thing... It's not a game... it was the truth. In a game someone has to win right? I wasn't going to win..it was a statement, how I felt. I told him I was done... with life... I'd give my daughter away.. quit my job.. that I was soo done with LIFE! he told me to go home and walk... can't give me an earlier appt because he is SOOOO booked up and won't cancel on anyone....
I don't get this.... how is he suppose to react when I say I hurt myself? What do therapists do? I don't even know what SHOULD happen.. but I don't think what did happen was right.....
I'm looking for a new therapist.....................it's hard... because I'm scared....

OK I'm sorry that your therapist didn't get back to you right away ...

... but your solution is run in the bathroom and cut yourself?

I mean I call my therapist and I neeeeeeever expect a call back soon, I assume the guy's got patients to deal with like a respectable therapist should. You're not the ONLY patient. I would definitely expect a call back within the next day or two, but I could never expect my therapist to call me back the same afternoon. He probably called you during the only time he had available to deal with you that day.

I'm sorry but your reaction is definitely not normal. You asked.

And as for other advice, I dont think you should call him and demand an apology for him not returning your call that afternoon. Even if he called previously.

Let me not get this twisted though -- you DEFINITELY need to talk to somebody. But you have to understand these are really busy people, and he probably has anywhere from 6-10 clients per day depending on how long his sessions are.

For instance when I call my psychiatrist, I always KNOW he will never answer my call, nor will he get back to me that day, or perhaps not even for a long time. However, he has hired a secretary liason to do the office scheduling and work. The guy is a professor, researcher, AND psychiatrist... I cant expect very much from him other than great treatment when I DO have an appointment.

If it was me, I definitely wouldn't get so upset over my therapist not calling me back. Here's the facts -- if it's THAT BAD, where you're going to kill yourself immediately or soon if you don't talk to him, YOU DONT NEED TO TALK TO HIM. You need to get the Hell into a hospital right away if you are going to kill yourself. Skip the damn therapist. If it's NOT that bad, then you can wait until you see him next to discuss the issues.

My $0.02. You asked for it

I think the therapist handled it very badly.

I suspect that it was much worse because he was the one person you trusted to listen to your issues and be aware of them..not to be himself the trigger.

Hope you feel better now, obviously it's something he needs to be aware of how he made you feel. It may be time to find a new one.

Forgot to add good luck and I hope your therapist situation turns out favorably.

I did not demand an apology from him... in fact I have since apologized to him for my irrational... bitchy behavior... and.... I got a slightly earlier appt...
Up until just recently I did not know the hospital was the place to go if you were having a really bad time...I live in a small ass town.. and the hospital totally sucks... I found out if you go in and say you are a danger to yourself they have you drug tested and call the police to take you over to another county's mental hospital......... everyone knows everyone here... and I *think* I've kept my "mental illness" under wraps... and don't need everyone finding out....It's a hard place to be in... but I also know it's stupid to care what other people think.. but when it could jeopardize my job... I think it matters.........just a little.
So I'm working on getting on the meds... I'm on the lowest dose now.. of a 3 step thing... I go up to the next higher dosage Saturday then another week to get up to full strength where my psych wants me......... I'm looking for a new/additional therapist/someone with a phd or whatever.. and... I'm so tired of being angry.. that I'm going to try to avoid it.........I've done well so far today.... thanks everyone

To be totally honest, no I do not think this is a normal reaction.

hi juststart..i understand your reaction was pretty strong...but sometimes, when we get really worried/anxious/paranoid this can happen....it sounds like your doing a good thing by getting on the meds....this is really going to help you just start, and it will help you when things come up like this, that stress you, so you don't go into complete freak mode...i understand..really because when i get anxious...it sends me into a spin.......and the paranoia comes in , ect.....so i really wish you well on these new meds, and just keep working with the pdoc ...ok? don't give up ....give these ones' a good try and let him guide you,,love, maggie

My therapist and my psychiatrist both CALL ME BACK THE SAME DAY and when I'm upset, either one - whichever I've called, calls me back within 2 or 3 hours. If I were in your situation, I'd get a new therapist and don't beat yourself up for your reaction. You were basically rejected by one of your most important supports - be gentle with yourself and just because you cut again, it doesn't make you all bad, or mean you're in a relapse. you just made a slip up. and that's advice my psychiatrist told me the last time I cut (after not doing it for almost a year)
good luck, sweetie.
(((HUGS)))

good luck with your meds ..hugs ..marie