So, about 6-8 months ago, my pdoc put me on the Invega (Invega Sustenna) long-acting monthly injections (because she knew damn well that I never took my meds). And I'm going to list the pros and cons of Invega, but before that, let me tell you that it's truly been a lifesaver.

Some of the side effects I'm going to make mention of have to do with libido, so read at your own risk. They won't be graphic, but I'm warning you now.

So if you're unfamiliar with Invega, I only really have a rudimentary knowledge of pharmacological jargon, but it's a metabolite of Risperidone (Risperdal), and from the chemical name itself, I believe it is a MUCH more powerful metabolite.

Also the only long-acting antipsychotic injections available are strong, because they're usually reserved for more severe psychiatric patients, and I was one of the severe wauuuuns.

Anyways, nowadays suicidal thoughts are extremely rare for me, even during times of severe stress.

Whereas before, I contemplated suicide and death almost 24/7. It was my main onrunning train of thought.

I was also extremely impulsive, I developed kleptomania and cut myself pretty regularly.

Now I am much more level-headed. Invega quite possibly saved me from the cold, clammy hand of death.

There are some side-effects, though....

In all honesty, sometimes I feel like a numbfuck and I'll still do impulsive things ~so I can know what it's like to feel again~, y'know?

Also my libido is almost nothing. Which, I'm in a several-months-old relationship, so that's uhhh.. a tricky situation. So our situation is difficult right now, and I've never had any like, libido troubles at all? I heard about anorgasmia etc. effecting millions of women and being fairly common and I always thought, "Waht? How?????" and now I'm in the same boat.

But the main issue is just feeling a little /too/ okay sometimes. I miss my wild emotions, I wish I could get my wild-at-heart spirit back minus the constant instability and suicidality.

But overall Invega Sustenna for me is 9/10 would recommend.

Nothing else- and I mean NOTHING- has ever been able to take my suicidal thoughts away.

What about you guys, what was your "wonderdrug" or are you still searching?

Best of luck to those still searching for their's, I was in your boat from age 10 to like, 21, and I'm only 22 now.