I think that whatever brings us to embrace life is good. There are many approaches to dealing with the pain of life, few of which involve "opting out". It's good to have you with us.

I agree with tommy. I know your sons would rather have you here, as do we. Proud of you for thinking this out and realizing the impact. Prayers for strength and peace thru this hard time.

Be strong. I hope things improve for you very soon, if not sooner. I think what you say is a brave statement.

Let me share some personal things with you. I have tried four separate times to "opt out". And after the last time, I saw how bad it hurt my family. My mom didn't eat for four days because I was unconscious with a tube in my throat. My dad was talking about getting a hospital bed for my room because the drs weren't sure I would be mentally well. Suicide tears families apart and destroys people. So when I feel like I'm wishing to opt out, I think of my family and how much I love them and they love me. Your family loves you too. Hang tight.

I'm glad that you're reaching out instead of opting out Fairy...... If you're in a depression I would get hold of your doc.... Perhaps you need a med tweak..... I always take a dip in the Fall.... SAD affects a lot of us.... Big squishy hug......xo

The last time I wanted to "Opt Out" I was separated from a marriage of 25 years, supposedly working on that marriage, but my husband had moved in with his most recent affair. I'd had to move back into our home, because he'd moved out with his new girl and found that he'd not bothered to pay the mortgage on the home that he'd been in for the year, I'd been in my condo with my youngest son. I worked my ass off to buy that home, the perfect place for my sons, 10 acres out in the country with the pool they wanted, the dirtbike track they'd made, my huge gardens, my rose gardens, the goats and chickens and geese they loved.....and now it was being repossessed because I couldn't pay my monthly rent and catch up a years mortgage at the same time. I'd had to quit the career I loved because my medical health was failing and go to my fallback career, Accounting, which was fine, but it wasn't what I loved.....and the final straw came when my 11 yr old when to visit his dad one weekend and Sunday when he was to come home, hour after hour passed and he never came home....when I finally called my soon to be ex informed me they were keeping him, he wasn't coming back, I could go fu** off. When my 19 yr old found me in the bedroom he thought someone had died I was so hysterical.

3 days later after I'd talked to my lawyer, my Pdoc and anyone else I thought could help me, I was done. I'd never gone more than 2 days/nights away from my sons, ever. I was just done...

My 19 yr old found me in the very middle of the bed with my 22 prescriptions neatly laid out before me, in order of potency/poison rate/sedation. He sat on the bed and said, "mom I still need you, I love you, and I need you, i'm not grown yet. Nick needs you he's only 11 and he's not grown yet and he loves you...to prove so he pulled out his cell phone and called his brother, and gave me the phone, my sweet boy, still his slightly little boy voice, said, "i love you mommy, they won't let me come home yet, but I love you and I miss you and grammy will come get me soon to see you, I love you, I didn't want to do this, daddy said I had to." At that point I wasn't sure exactly if I wanted to be dead more or kill my ex husband more, but dead was winning.

So my 19 year old kept telling me he needed me and his brother needed me and things would work out but I had to be there when they did. How do you say no when your child is begging you to live???

He took me to the Hospital, stayed with me as I voluntarily checked myself in, and visited me everyday. I was there for 3 months and had 12 weeks of ECT which brought me out of a Depression so Dark I never thought I'd come out of it. Grammy brought Nick to see me a couple times a week after school and on Saturdays and Sundays, Zach came everyday. I finished my ECT on an outpatient basis for 5 weeks, every M, W, F every week for 5 weeks, Zach took me. When I got out I was able to get a job, get a new house get my son every weekend and get my life back on track with meds and weekly Pdoc visits. I don't advocate ECT as a "everyday regular" therapy, but I do advocate it as a last ditch, save your life therapy.

My son Zach is now 27, a Fireman and a member of the Army National Guard and Nick is 19 and a Freshman in College. Zach lives 5 minutes from me and still checks in everyday....he tends to do things that tick me off, but gets a lifetime pass for saving my life and making sure he and his brother had a mom for their growing up years. Being there for your kids is the best possible reason to "Opt In" and if you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me.

Take Care,
Kat