Today is an important day for me. I should be happy and in a celebratory mood. Instead I'm sad and very lonely. I've been slipping back into a depression lately so I'm not surprised but I don't like it. I could call someone and go out to celebrate but I just don't feel like it. I have a problem with isolating myself from everyone and the thought of going out to a place with a bunch of strangers is scary to me. For days I was trying to get myself excited for this day. I kept telling myself that I would do something fun and enjoy the day. I tried giving myself a pep talk, saying I would be in a good mood and do fun things. Well, that didn't work. Sorry to be going on and on, just venting. Oh, by the way the big deal about today is its my birthday.