Hi. I will pray for you. I know how difficult it is after having a meltdown. Even though my boyfriend of over two years (he saw the worst of my BP behavior prior to the meds) and he is very supportive, I would have extreme guilt after a meltdown. I hated the guilt the most. I would try so hard to amke up for it and that would get me going on to another meltdown again. My boyfriend would sometimes act as though he didn't hear me crying. That would make me panic and then I'd end up on the floor somewhere screaming in emotional distress. I will pray for you and your husband. I will pray that he will understand that this is not your fault and to be there for you. He may never understand, but he can be there and be supportive and I will ask God for that for you.

You have a prayer and more-I understand what you are feeling. Sometimes I feel as though my husband of 7 years has selective deafness, with my emotions being the part he can't hear. I feel as though in the early years of our relationship he smiled and laughed more,and was more spontaneous. I feel as though my disease has aged him and weighed him down, and I feel very sad about that. He takes wonderful practical care of my daughter and I, and I want him to be happy.

Here is a prayer that helps me get through dark times. It's the 3rd step prayer from AA.

"God, I offer myself to Thee--to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!"