There are medications to treat/control mania, anti-psychotics for immediate symptoms and lithium or depakote to provide mood stability. I suspect that your family would miss you and that they do like having you around. In my own life I've never embraced death as a solution. I'm more apt to turn to the treatment of a hot fudge sundae and with better results. It can be a terrifying life and I hope that talking with your doc will reveal options and remove the terror.

I know how hard it is to have to stay when you are bound by a promise to children. all you want to do is end the bloody pain. try and thin of something really nice that you can do for yourself that might make you feel relaxed, like a long hot bath with essential oils and a good book or soft music. call a friend. go swimming. anything that might bring you ease. watch a comedy quiz show. keep posting here. it is so difficult. baby steps , just get through each moment and the time will pass. hugs to you.

Forget mental dis-ease.

In HUGE PAIN - you make no life changing decisions, you don't quit a job, get divorced, you don't end your life!

The hardest thing to do in life - whether mental or physical, or BOTH double whammy - is Nothing!

Pain - and trying to prevent it, because stopping it - almost impossible - is in charge of everything, the tears - you body and mind do not want to handle anymore, its consuming, torture without a relief in sight....

You're not crazy, and if you are - so what? Who doesn't have issues, health, wealth, - some people are assholes in perfect health! LOL

Hold on and treat this pain and fix your physical, meds, pain pills, surgery - whatever! But no decisions about you whole life - while you're suffering (((((BIG HUG)))

Hold on!

I am so sorry your in so much pain. (((hugs))) i am on tegretol to stop the racing mind/thoughts etc please talk to your Pdoc about this soon and try to get on a new medication. I have to tell you i have only been on it a week to date and i feel so much better my brain stays focused on one thing now and it was seriously bad bad bad to the point i couldn't shut down without sleeping pills.

I know your family would miss you please do not do anything. As hard as it is to believe we are here and go through our daily trials for a reason. I can't tell you why you have yours but i can tell you that i have been through many in order to help others from abuse to my illnesses.

Know that you are loved and stay in touch with us. Talk to your PDoc

So sorry your hurting so much. Maybe you need a anti depressant.
call your Pdoc. Hang in there it will get better.
God Bless.

Yes your husband and children would live out the rest of there lives struggling trying to wonder why they weren't enough for you to stay alive for them.I know first hand what its like to have a close family member kill themself.please hang in there for them.i was in bad shape this week to but coming here and talking things out with people who understand what you are going through helps.Tomorrow is another day and maybe you will feel better then so please hang in there. You are not alone. Big hugs

I believe the absolute evilness of bipolar disorder, is the way it can make us forget that we can get better. That we can feel better.

Please hang on

Talk to your Pdoc,

I totally agree with Gina. You are in pain and that is never a time to make any decisions quickly. Your children and husband would not be better off without you so take that out of your head if you can. Focus on fixing the physical pain and the mental will get better. I'm so sorry you are hurting so much. Big Hugs.

Thank's so much! This site and the support that y'all have offered are really making a difference. I keep reading your replies over and over and I am feeling more hopeful. It is clear to me that my meds need tweaking but I can't see my new doc (haven't seen her before) until April 17th! I have been seeing the same doc in Colorado for 4 years even though I haven't lived there in the last 2 years. I now live in SC. We have skyped and I have flown out to see her regularly. That might seem crazy but I've been fighting with my brain my whole life and have seen so many docs, been on so many meds, been diagnosed something different by almost every one of them but have had the most success with my CO doc. I feel like she really understands what I'm saying and she's also been great working with my husband and family. I've been hesitant to change docs because I'm nervous about "getting her up to speed." I mean every time I have to tell my story and explain what is going on with my head and body I feel like I'm picking at scars.
Does that make sense? It's why I'm reluctant to got to AA. I went many years ago with someone else and I heard everyone telling their stories and sharing their experiences and it almost felt like they were trying to relive the old days when they were drinking and at times one upping each other. I realize that was just one group and I was in a very different place but it brings me down to retell what I've been through or try to explain my thoughts.
I'm hoping that my Colorado doc can communicate with my new doc and fill her in as much as possible so I won't have to. Is that how that works? Has anyone else changed doctors and had their old doc explain what they've learned about you so far? I've given my permission for my old doc to share info with the new one but I'm uncertain of what they will exchange and to what extent.
Again thank you for your suggestions and support!
Peace.