So I've noticed something funny and checked my mood log. I have about a year's worth of ups and downs, and bigger ups and bigger downs, and smaller ups and smaller downs in between... Never three days in a row at the same mood. You get the picture. But this is how it's been forever. This is all I remember.

On May 24th, though, I've had a med change, and I've hit a zero, neutral mood, and I've flatlined there. Honest. I've been at zero for about two weeks. I've plotted my mood on a graph, and it looks like a bigass seismograph, with it's quasi-random readings, that was unplugged on May 24th. Very bizarre.

So I guess I'm normal now. Hmm. (looks around, scratches head, looks some more...) I've flatlined at zero, which is rather blah. I much prefer the next grade up (1), where I smile to people, chit-chat, and am happy that I am alive (rather than neutral). Is this the blah stability people talk about? It's OK, it's not bad, it's just not good either.

On the other hand, if this is how normies live, then we don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of being understood, ever. Our range of emotion is simply beyond understanding, if you haven't experienced it. So I guess, cut them some slack for not understanding. And on the other hand, maybe we need to develop a better way of communicating our feelings - something they have never experienced.

But first of all, folks, be happy for me. I guess. I think. :)

P.S. My med change was basically up Seroquel to 100mg, not something that'll work for others, I guess.