Okay so my pdoc is in India and i noticed that my tegretol wasn't working like it had before. So... I UPed my dose without the go ahead of my pdoc and while it is working better I do feel like it was a little irrational to try and self medicate like that. Tonight I drank a whole bunch of wine with my friend (she doesn't know i'm on the medication) and i'm feeling really floaty and weird. I was feeling like this earlier before i drank as well. My body did its thing and got rid of the alcohol via my trachea... now i still feel very strange and I'm pretty sure this is all the result of stress and a bout of hypo-mania. So i know this wasn't a good choice and i feel shitty that I couldn't realize what was going on earlier. The other night I freaked on my drunken alcoholic mother when she wouldn't support me moving to the dessert. I mean if the cops don't care that I was beat up by an old man I need to move right! well shit I can't think straight right now... this happens to you too right?