First congrats on the baby :)

If you can't get over the fact that this man is going to obviously keep dating guys then you need to move on. Plenty of people make poly relationships work but its not easy even in the best case scenario. If you decide to keep him then its time to lay down the law and get him to help you out some with cleaning, the baby ect

It is one thing to be bisexual..but your guy is having his cake and eating it. He has the loving partner (you) and daughter, and he still expects to be able to sleep around? That isn't right and it isn't fair. That is messing with your emotions too much.

Having a new baby is very stressful and you need as much help as you can get, so I'd make up a rota of where he has to have the baby for a few hours a day so you can get some sleep or god forbid have a relaxing bath! Gay men, straight men, Bi men all seem to have one thing in common; they only think about themselves!

Lay down the law before you have a melt down.


It's difficult just now but you'll get there my love =)

Wow, your in a pickle! How did you get yourself here and where do you go from here. YOu need to get how you want your life straight while you are engaged before you get married and their are more issues. Don't settle just becuase you have a child to many adults co parent sucessfully. What are you willing to live with darling?

Emotions are running all over the place after a birth you don't need any added stress in your life.

having a gay husband in a marriage is not easy to deal with. I know u love him but he won't change no matter what. He will always be gay...regardless of the hurt it may cause u. Please reconsider marrying this man. I've been there and it drove me to attempt suicide and a life of complete and utter confusion and pain. I now have a wonderful husband who is straight and loves me for me. But my ex alienated me from my son and ruined any relationship i had with him. Think long and hard before u enter into a permanent relationship with this man. Having a baby is one thing...living the life he's asking u to live is unfair. JMHO

So much pain and exhaustion for you, you poor thing.

I couldn't even begin to understand how you are engaged and planning to marry this gay/bi man. His attention and direction certainly don't seem to be on parenting and being a good husband.

I think you need a good long think about what kind of life you want to lead and what the minimum you will accept from this man. He is not even talking to you, does no work in the house and nothing with the baby, runs around on dates while you are sleep deprived - just what exactly are you getting from this relationship?

It certainly sounds like a nightmare and all my instincts scream run as he is obviously more interested in running around the gay dating life. Is he with you just as a cover so people don't know he is gay?

I really can't see anything but more heartbreak in this for you. I am so sad, you deserve far better than this. You need a good long talk with him but how can you do that when he doesn't talk to you?

Are there other people in your life you can turn to for help? You are effectively living like a solo mom with the added burden of working for him. Would it be easier for you to live alone with your baby?

at least you know he's gay
a friend of mine went off after years of marriage and 2 kids later and grand kids and said he's gay and found a guy they are now getting married?his ex wife says he's not gay and refuses to accept it (she found a new bf and is happy)

he is just using you either for a cover or just for his kid that he doesn't seem to be caring for
are you also free to see who you want ?
difficult when you have a baby
id be very careful giving my heart to this guy you can't compete if he has a bf
hugs

This is so common and so exspected.
Some men marry, have affrairs & raise a family & divorce to be w thier new true love.&/or steping stones.
Every child the parent are linked for 20ty yrs. that's all, that's enough.
I know of many thoughtout my life that get together - to have offspring - a baby w thier own DNA. Who have no intentions of being stiffered.
again this is so dam common.

Didn't u have this talk w your Mother &/or Father, hum.
Most new Mothers reside close to thier family for family support & assistance w care of baby & assist the parents.
This is common too.

You might maybe or not wish to obtain medication for anxiety.

I saw a zebra. reconized it as being a zebra. came to learn of & about the zebra. The zebra told me what he is. I accept the zebra into my life - small part of my life.
I accepted the zebra as being just that.
Now zebra wants to ad to populations through use of an oven.
Of course the zebra sings what ever I he feels that I need to hear so that he can get what he wants in peace w little turbence.
Even a zoo keeper know that a zebra can't change it's strips.
Give your baby daddy a hand ful of peanuts & pat his head & keep him restrined, so that he is as you want at diffrent times when it suits you & your person need.

what's it to u that he choosee to live his life w/o restrainig himself.
U know the person that he was when u met him & while in bed w him.but u have need to chamnge him when ever it suits you,humm.

I dought that when he is selecting. he's not presenting a 1 night sttand or friend to be or friend w benifits, for you to sleep w or to date (?)

Now sweet pea.
don't ask nor tell him nor others. simple call a cleaning service.
or hire a neighbour or someone from news paper ad's.
Build support group.
Have play dates.
Have someone to come in at least twice a wk to help w takeing care of baby mornings needs or after dinner bths - bed time for babyHire a next door neighbour if you need to until you obtainn someone you perer to assist.

Before I adopted my son's I hired a cleaning service.
made arrangements to have play dates w other parents.
I made sure that my famiky was near by.
I also had Sunday morning day care service at church.
I have always had lawn service.

Sorry but I believe that if a person can't aford to have everything needed for a baby/child/Mother/parents, then by all means they should not be allowed to have a child.

Again I choise not to abuse my body for any man so I chosie to adopt.

Enjoy the baby while it's small. hang tough when it is in teen yrs, you will make it. ( all teens hate thier parents - it's a phase)
My 2 son are in thier 30tys.
they refused to marry before age 40ty. Thier girl crazy w condons to back it up.
I was 28 when I meet my formaor husband. we dated for 6 yrs before we married. it was a yr after we married before we moved intogether.
Ya I should have waited.Really I should have.
We're best friends & business partners. as exspected we just grew at diffrent rates & somewhat diffrent directions.
That's just another phase in difrent phases that ea & everyine goes through & thoughout thier lives.

Sorry for such a long yadda.
I needed to waste time while waiting on a friend to arrive this morning.

Do you realy love this guy ? Does he love you? It sounds like he loves himself and is very self absorbed.He may also have a sex addiction.

Has this man given you any happiness in your life this is an indication of what your future will be like.Start geting some rest and see if you can gat some help with your baby maybee your family can help.

Without rest it is going to be very hard to think about what OPTIONS you have and how to change your life.This guy cares more about dating mem than he does you if what you say is true.

Hugs. I cannot give much advice about the gentleman. I agree, though with WiderK and Shiningsoul.

I can offer the way that I cared for my son when I had severe postpartum and I was psychotic. I can also offer advice about how to keep the house clean, but I can't really offer advice about your partner.

When Richard was newborn, I took care of him while Allen worked. I was on no meds at the time. I had a pallet in the center of the trailer. It had wipes, diapers, a changing station on one end and (after I breastfed and switched to formula) and at the other end, I had his formula, little bed and my own drink. The TV was right in front of me. The central location allowed easy access to the kitchen on one end and the bathroom on the other. The phone was also on the floor with me.

Housecleaning: it can be done in parts.

1. Put the dishes to soak.
2. Take out the garbage.
3. Make the beds and put the laundry in one area. Pick up dirty laundry first.
4. Wipe counters off.
5. Sweep.
6. Mop.

You can do these things in part acts. You can leave the dishes, for example, soaking overnight. You can clean just a few dishes to use for yourself during the day and re-use them to cut down on clutter.

You can get a friend to help organize the house.

The most important things are clean linens, the garbage being out, clean floors and clean dishes, in my book.

You can formulate a schedule.

Forgive yourself and be gentle. Good books, good movies, a support network of stable people to call, is great.

People in AA take it one day at a time. Why can't we bipolars do that also?

Books for YOU:

"An Unquiet Mind" by Kay Redfield Jamison

Anything by Melanie Beattie
Anything Sarah Ban Breathnach

"The Penny" by Joyce Meyer

"Care of the Soul" by Thomas Moore