Like drink or drugs or something. That's not usually me, but I am trying to numb the pain. I am so tired of not being happy. I love my husband and kids, but I just feel like running away sometimes. I was too young to get married and have kids. I hate my life sometimes. I am tired of my husband being an asshole, but I know it's my fault. I am irresponsible and don't do the things that normal wives and moms are supposed to do. That leaves him stuck to do everything and it stresses him out and makes hime act like that. I just feel he should understand where I'm coming from. He knows I have problems. Why did he marry me when he knew the way I was? I don't know what to do anymore. I'm not happy if I stay, but I don't wanna leave. It's not all bad. We have a lot of good times. It's just so hard to make it through the bad times sometimes. I need a break so bad. I am with the kids 24/7. No one will watch them and when I try to leave them home w/ my husband they cry and I feel bad a don't leave. I know my bipolar is causing all my problems and everyone elses too, but what can I do? If i didn't have my kids I would just kill myself. I love them to much to put them through that though.
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