Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
From the time I entered school until around the time I graduated, I was picked on (verbally abused). I was told I was slow and ugly. when I cried about being mistreated, I was called a crybaby. I tried telling teacher and other school staff about what was happening but they had little to no interest in my problems. My parents didn't really want to hear it either. They would tell me to ignore the other kids. The teachers did the same. Going to school was absolute hell all those years.
I get into the work force. I'm a hard worker but like many others, I have to deal with cruel bosses. My life is filled crushing failures and huge disappointments.
My son has adhd and aspergers syndrome. He is very defiant and nags incessantly. I don't have the mental or physical stamina to deal with his challenging behavior a lot of the time. My husband can get him to obey but I don't want to have to depend on others to get him to behave.
Money is tight for my family right now. I get ssdi but it's not nearly as much as what my husband brings in. I wish I could work again so I could better help my family financially. I've only been able to get low level jobs at fast food places, a couple of office jobs that didn't pay much and other min. wage work. I'm very sorry I wasn't able to save for my son's college someday. He's 14 and very smart. I don't have retirement from any of the jobs I held. A couple of the jobs don't exists and at least two that I know of have been bought by someone else so if I could go back to work, I don't know where most of my references have gone.
I know this sounds like a lot of rambling. I'm trying to get all this stuff out of my head.
Right now I just feel like a failure as a mother because I can't care for my son like I want to. I feel I failed at life because I couldn't get very far off the ground before I crashed. I feel like there was something really awful about me and that's why I was so unpopular at school. I want to help my family more but I'm such a wreck. I'm so tired now. I've tried to be some sort of success but things just fell apart.
I get into the work force. I'm a hard worker but like many others, I have to deal with cruel bosses. My life is filled crushing failures and huge disappointments.
My son has adhd and aspergers syndrome. He is very defiant and nags incessantly. I don't have the mental or physical stamina to deal with his challenging behavior a lot of the time. My husband can get him to obey but I don't want to have to depend on others to get him to behave.
Money is tight for my family right now. I get ssdi but it's not nearly as much as what my husband brings in. I wish I could work again so I could better help my family financially. I've only been able to get low level jobs at fast food places, a couple of office jobs that didn't pay much and other min. wage work. I'm very sorry I wasn't able to save for my son's college someday. He's 14 and very smart. I don't have retirement from any of the jobs I held. A couple of the jobs don't exists and at least two that I know of have been bought by someone else so if I could go back to work, I don't know where most of my references have gone.
I know this sounds like a lot of rambling. I'm trying to get all this stuff out of my head.
Right now I just feel like a failure as a mother because I can't care for my son like I want to. I feel I failed at life because I couldn't get very far off the ground before I crashed. I feel like there was something really awful about me and that's why I was so unpopular at school. I want to help my family more but I'm such a wreck. I'm so tired now. I've tried to be some sort of success but things just fell apart.
I'm in pretty much the same boat except I don't have a husband. I have two kids that are at a boarding school because I'm not able to care for them like I wish I could.
But don't be so hard on your self. You are not alone. I have to place value on myself cause no one else will. I had a hard life and I had to learn the hard way that you have to love your self and believe you are worth it. If you don't believe you are worth then you can never move forward because that is a stumbling block.
Loving your self for who you are is hard. You have to let go off all the things you've done wrong or failed at.
Also, I constantly question ability as a mother and judge myself to be a bad mother. It is not healthy and a difficult attitude for me to change. It is especially difficult and not always rewarding when you have children with special needs or behavioral problems of their own--and I have 3 like that!
My pdoc has told me, knowing my offspring (and me), that I have been a "good enough" mother because I don't have any children doing time & they all are still in school. He is not kidding.
Sometimes, being good enough is all we can do in the face of our obstacles and challenges.
Big hugs to you. I hope you get some rest tonight. xo