Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

8,884 Members
129,558 Posts
1 Online
Mental Health
/ Bipolar Disorder Support Group

I dont want to go on

mysticrose
mysticrose
I still only get a few hours visitation with my kids a week, not much has changed. I phone them every night and I say goodnight to them and then I am alone in my one room place. It has a bathroom but no kitchen. I have a fiance who I love dearly and he is the only one I feel connected with but I think at times he would be SO better off without me and my shit in his life. I mean I'm so messed up, can I really do that to him, bring all this baggage. My therapist isn't much help. Some times I think it would be better to have it all over. I love my kids, but being away from them is killing me. I love my finance, but he lives in another state and we only get visits now and then. At all other times I am alone in this room. It might as well be a prison cell with a phone call every night to my kids.
affective
affective
Sorry to hear your still struggling mystic. If you end it then your kids will never see them again. I bet they love when they hear your voice and see you for those brief few hours. Could am animal be a good companion for you? One that gets you outside and exercising? You could even walk the neighbours dogs. Hang in there. The longer you hang in there the better things will get. Your accomodation at the moment is only temporary. Your fiance in another state I hope is only temporary. Can you talk to your ex about more visitation rights? Explain to him how you feel.

I so hope that your situation improves. Ever you ever wanna talk or catch up for coffee let me know.
affective
affective
Sorry about the spelling and grammar, I just cant seem to type what is in my head today.
dancingd
dancingd
This might sound trite..... But HOPE sweetie, there is always HOPE and tomorrow

{{hugs}}
spacekat
spacekat
I agree with affective-- see if you could get an animal companion and if they don't allow animals where you live, get a service animal -- they are allowed EVERYWHERE! Everything going on right now is temporary ... You children need you, your fianc needs you, WE need you. DD is right. HOPE!
sadiegirl13
sadiegirl13
I've had thoughts before that my long-term bf would be better off without me. BUT if he thought that, he would break up with me. So if your fiance has asked you to marry him, and promised to marry you, then he doesn't think he's better off without you; he thinks he is better off WITH you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hang in there for your kids . you sound like a good Mom , you call them every night , that probably means more to them than you realize.
.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Instead of putting your energy into thoughts of "not going on", use your energy to come up with workable solutions to the problems you listed.

And NEVER, EVER fool yourself into thinking your kids or fiance will be better off without you. Suicide rips a family apart, kids especially.

It wasn't until my 5 suicide attempt that I thought about what it would do to my sons, and that was only because my youngest, then 11, flat out begged me not to give up. He didn't want to not have a mom anymore.

We think that all we do is hurt our loved ones, but they do love us and want us to get better and stick around.

kat