Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Hello - this is my first day on the site and so first ever post. I am currently waiting for my assesment for bi polar which is next week but my gp seems pretty sure :-( . The problem I am finding is that i have been this way as long as i can remember and since the age of 16 I have been on and off anti depressants and going through times of utter stupidity or in the dark depth that has held me prisoner depression - now I know this assesment is going to raise questions so I have tried to prepare and am getting statements from friends and family about my extreme changes in behaviors.
As I go back through my past trying so hard to remember things it has made me so b mixed up as I know longer seem to know who I am. What is me and what is the illness?
As I go back through my past trying so hard to remember things it has made me so b mixed up as I know longer seem to know who I am. What is me and what is the illness?
I think all of us , at one time or another questioned...is it the BP or is it ME ...or is it BOTH ?
IMHO...bipolar has shaped and formed my personality since I was very young....so I "label" myself , as being bipolar
Some BP people don't like that particular terminology...they prefer to say "I have bipolar"
In either case..we all have to work out a plan for treatment , and learn coping skills.
Work with your Pdoc , and aim for wellness.
Welcome to DS !
Something my partner said to me a long time ago, you are you, you are not defined by your illness. You may have Bipolar, but you have your own identity. It helped me to learn I have bipolar, I am NOT bipolar. Just something to think about.
It is a perfect question that I ask myself. I have also seen it in my real life BP friends. I see myself in three ways. The manic, the depressed, and the stable. The stable person is fairly new to me. However, it is an ongoing quest to discover who am I apart from a mood disorder.
The therapy class I was in for a long time used to tell us to say to ourselves I am Merrymay and that bipolar (or whatever illness you have) is just one aspect. You wouldn't go into a store and introduce yourself to someone like' Hi I am Bipolar whats your name.'
I'm just saying that you are not your illness. You have a wise mind. You have been and are a valid human being. What are your interests or hobbies? What kind of music do you like? What are your strong beliefs? What is important to you? These are just a few questions to ask yourself. Hope this helps a little.
If you have an ugly chair in the middle of the room with a spot light over it what can you do with that chair? It has to stay in the room. At first I thought, put a cloth over it, move other furniture in front of it, etc. Then someone told me to put the chair in the dark corner of the room so that it's not the first thing people see when they walk into the room. The chair is still there but it's not the focus of the room (you).
We all have ugly chairs in our rooms and they are part of us but they aren't ALL of us. Welcome to your journey and to DS!
For years I have hated myself for my outbursts which when I am in the moment believe to be valid but afterwards. It scares me that i could just turn round and walk out from anyone and anywhere - work, family and friends. Without caring it seems!
Which is not true as i don't want to hurt anyone but at the time I really don't care.
I have read about hypomania and the highs that it brings well sometimes that has been the case but it would seem that when i am high one minute and very angry the next. I have wasted money on things in madness that I neither needed or could afford and had many affairs over the years. This hurts me looking back but when I was up so to speak I believed I was gods gift and i could get anyone regardless of their marriages or anything else.
Then we have my depression which robs me of all that i love. I don't want to do anything go anywhere or see anyone - I cry and think my dog doesn't lov
So i know how to define the good the bad and the ugly - its the normal that I am not getting. I have a chart box and I don't know what is supposed to be normal. Again I think this will come in time.
I want to thank you all again so very much for all your support it means so much to me and forgive me for not responding sooner I am guessing that most of you are in the US and are 5 hours behind me so i may be sleeping.
Best wishes to everyone x