the title pretty much sums up how I'm feeling. I don't want to do this anymore, I'm so tired and everything feels so difficult. There's so much pain and suffering and it's all too much. I can't do this naymore, I feel like I don't have the strength to go on. I wake up every day trying my best to make it through the day and feel hopeful about my future and my day. I fight and I fight against the suicidal thoughts that seem to swin around in my head everyday. I take my medication, I eat and sleep well but the paranoia and the delusions keep coming back along with the overthinking about everything. I force myself to eat because I know I need to but I have no appetite. I try everyday to sleep and I wake up from nightmares and the PTSD from bullying, neglect, and sexual abuse weighs on my tiny fragile soul more than anyone knows. I try my best to put on a brave face for my loved ones but I am slowly breaking down and I feel like there's nothing I can do. I feel so helpless and hopeless. I feel as if there is only way out and I'm trying so freaking hard to try and fight it but I'm so tired of fighting everyday just to survive. I cleaned my room today and it was so overwhelming to me I started to cry. I feel so stupid and weak and inadqute compared to everyone else. I feel like a coward and a piece of garbage who can't even bring herself to do the most basic of tasks because of how depressed she is.Everyone just calls me lazy. No one seems to understand what it feels like to feel so bad you can't even speak. To feel so broken that you chest aches at the thought of trauma. Not being able to handle being around loud noises and too many people. To struggle to through the days where there is no hope  I don't know what to do anymore. I just want out.