Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I am so F*cking down. :( It sucks. I swear I could cry at a drop of a hat. It started with the excessive worry.
Today, I was Fine for the most part- Until I was out with my Fiance and our son and We stopped at the gas station, where I got a Soda ( I was excited for, because the answer is usually no but today he said the truth," Its not really my money, you worked to put it in the account, so you don't have to ask."
So I was all happy and got my 1.19 Cherry Coke and my son, a Lemonade. :D ( I don't know the price of that off hand)
Well from there we went to Game stop, where he got a points card for his xbox ( a purchase that we really can't afford with bills needing to be paid and my meds need to be refilled, guess I will have to go with, or break down and go to his brother in law. (which reminds me, I am pretty sure, his sister and brother in law got me bath soap because I mention I was out and Didn't want to pick any up because I was trying to save all our money for bills with my seasonal job coming to an end.)
Anyway- He got that expensive xbox point card for himself, and then we went to walmart for his Tea, he must have while me and my son drink from the tap.
Well, I been running super low on shampoo and I was out of conditioner, Deciding to wash my hair every other day ( Which I think is actually healthier. Am I right? My hair feels and looks shinier in a good way)
Well, I picked out the cheapest stuff for me, so I could afford to get the 2 in 1 sauve that is only 1.88 for my son, and told David to pick on out and Talon instantly said NO, he doesn't need it. He can use ours and David started Crying. And yes I know the kid can use ours, but it makes him happy to have his own kind that doesn't burn his eyes, and it last longer when we all have our own. (Oh of course Talon had to get a brand name shampoo and conditioner for his hair.)
He is so Selfish.
Anyway- I decide not to continue fighting with him and just said okay. And Walked away and started looking at the head bands. David did get his Shampoo, because his father decide 1.88 is okay to make me happy. But it didn't make me happy that I had to fight for that 1.88 for Shampoo for the Kid. If he didn't pick it up, I was going to get it anyway. There is change around the house, and I can always ask his mother to pick it up for David.
Well, I just feel so deflated and Trapped and unhappy. I got away, only to come back to being even more controlled. I feel like I been on house arrest since we got back together in August. August 28th to be exact, the 29th, was my hospitalization.
I feel so fucking lonely. Even though he is here. I spend the majority of my time with a 4 year old, an amazing bright 4 year old. But Still. :(
maybe I am just being a baby about this.
Today, I was Fine for the most part- Until I was out with my Fiance and our son and We stopped at the gas station, where I got a Soda ( I was excited for, because the answer is usually no but today he said the truth," Its not really my money, you worked to put it in the account, so you don't have to ask."
So I was all happy and got my 1.19 Cherry Coke and my son, a Lemonade. :D ( I don't know the price of that off hand)
Well from there we went to Game stop, where he got a points card for his xbox ( a purchase that we really can't afford with bills needing to be paid and my meds need to be refilled, guess I will have to go with, or break down and go to his brother in law. (which reminds me, I am pretty sure, his sister and brother in law got me bath soap because I mention I was out and Didn't want to pick any up because I was trying to save all our money for bills with my seasonal job coming to an end.)
Anyway- He got that expensive xbox point card for himself, and then we went to walmart for his Tea, he must have while me and my son drink from the tap.
Well, I been running super low on shampoo and I was out of conditioner, Deciding to wash my hair every other day ( Which I think is actually healthier. Am I right? My hair feels and looks shinier in a good way)
Well, I picked out the cheapest stuff for me, so I could afford to get the 2 in 1 sauve that is only 1.88 for my son, and told David to pick on out and Talon instantly said NO, he doesn't need it. He can use ours and David started Crying. And yes I know the kid can use ours, but it makes him happy to have his own kind that doesn't burn his eyes, and it last longer when we all have our own. (Oh of course Talon had to get a brand name shampoo and conditioner for his hair.)
He is so Selfish.
Anyway- I decide not to continue fighting with him and just said okay. And Walked away and started looking at the head bands. David did get his Shampoo, because his father decide 1.88 is okay to make me happy. But it didn't make me happy that I had to fight for that 1.88 for Shampoo for the Kid. If he didn't pick it up, I was going to get it anyway. There is change around the house, and I can always ask his mother to pick it up for David.
Well, I just feel so deflated and Trapped and unhappy. I got away, only to come back to being even more controlled. I feel like I been on house arrest since we got back together in August. August 28th to be exact, the 29th, was my hospitalization.
I feel so fucking lonely. Even though he is here. I spend the majority of my time with a 4 year old, an amazing bright 4 year old. But Still. :(
maybe I am just being a baby about this.
One thing that might be good to think about is if your relationship is stressed heavily with things other than money. It sounds like you have several bones to pick here, but they mostly start with the money.
Good luck love!
I hate being broke too, but my hubby wants the bills paid first, sometimes do-able sometimes not.
I try though. We go to the dollar store alot and game stop is here but we only visit when we have money for the place, I get used games and also used video equipment. It works for us.
we have a referbished PS2 and he plays on that.
He also uses the computer for games too.
I do understand about being alone when someone is there.
I go through that alot. Hubby works nights but the days he sleeps seem long and hard.
Just keep on pushing through, I go by kids first, bills second any thing else is extra.
Take Care.
ttfn AnnieEm
He can't choose to be around that guy with his behavior, but you can and whatever you choose, your son has to live with. Make sense? You and your son deserve better. We all do. I say all of this out of concern...please know that. Big hugs and strength to you!!! xo