i'm four years younger than you and in the same position. however, i'm killing myself trying to stay in school. i think you are more capable than u give yourself credit for. you can achieve as much independance as you seek. take little steps of course. your family is willing to take care of you, so this is the perfect time to explore what you feel you CAN do. don't give up. in a way you still have your health and your legs. don't let this illness take time from you.

I take Pristiq and Geodon. It is not helping much. I see a therapist every 2 weeks and my pdoc every month.

Many of us apply for and receive Social Security Disability. It's nice to have income to live independently. Tell us more about yourself.

We will help clean you up and get you going.
Looks like you already have some women here to help you.
Go with it. We care....

I couldn't do full time work so I do odd jobs and make sure they know to be flexible with me. It works out good. I don't make much money, I mostly do it to give myself something to do and to have some of my own spending money.

A piece of advice that has helped me out is not to go by 'normal.' Live your life according to what is normal for you. Once you have that established, you can work on providing what you can. And it will be OK.

Everyone scares me on here. I have always worked but haven't for a year and a half. Working for me, keeps me sane.

When doc has me stabilized and I get a good job where I'm busy all the time, that is when I am happiest. I thrive on busy, busy, busy.

I don't want to think there will ever be a time I can't work, though I certainly understand that many beepers are unable to. I have been unable to for way too long now. This disease sucks.

I am lucky in that I have plenty of money in the bank and my husband works his ass off making a good living. My family also helps me out. We are blessed. I don't know how those with mental illness and no income and no support survive. Our streets are filled with poor souls who should have access to healthcare. Okay, now I'm babbling.

To Mona, good luck girl. And don't feel too bad. I'm 10 years older than you and living off my husband and my family.

I applied for Social Security Disability in September. I am waiting for the results. Right now I don't know if I should go back to school. I tried to get in the job training but my report said I can't handle stress so I can't get in right now until I improve in these areas. I'm trying to take it one day at a time.

take it one day at a time and use this time to focus on you. get your meds right. that can take a long time so just focus on that. i wish you the best and keep us updated.

(((MONA))) i get that feeling as you described in your post. Rough spot that our minds get us in as we TRY to keep up with the mental levels that others seem to be accomplishing~true empathy on my part for you. Someone once told me that just taking care of myself mentally is at times all I CAN do. I see that you are doing that :) Pat yourself on the back :) Also you you have the right mind frame of saying to yourself "one day at a time" WTG! Hugs to you :) along with Peace and Serenity

Bethany has a good point about the "normalcy" bit and I would listen to her.

Sometimes, it might take a few years to get to a good level of function. I had really severe post partum depression that I swear seemed like it lasted 2 years. It has taken me 6 years to get to where I am. I function "okay"-like I drive, but I don't drive on the interstate, if you know what I mean. Sometimes, it takes time-theraputic time-to climb out of the trauma, crisis or depression that you are in.

Depending on what is going on and what your needs are, disability is a good choice. You might want to take theraputic time if you need it-a vacation. Slowly, with the help of a good caseworker, counselor, voc rehab person or just good friend or mentor, you can gradually start re-building skills..something like this:

2 months
waking up at like, 9:00/9:30
basically getting up each day/dressing, whatever
fixing breakfast
washing dishes

from 3 months-six months
getting up at like 8:30/9
doing some type of art
going on walks around the neighborhood or a safe park

**Tween type of goal: find a support group

6-10 months
wake up at 8:00/8:30
going to church or the store more
establishing more of a routine
finding a volunteer job or book club
starting a savings account-just starting it

12-15 months
wake up at 7:30/8:00
find a job (if you want to-20 hrs/wk)
establishing more relationships at church
learning to drive:
-first, around the corner
-then to the market
-then to a friends
-then, eventually the city streets
-save money/become more involved in the support group

between a year and a year and a half:
wake up at 7:30/7:30
taking ONE college course
driving to certain, planned routine places
extending your hobbies
joining a church
ETC.............

Recovery is gradual. In a crisis situation, sometimes hefty meds help at first to clear out the trauma and give time for rest. Then, after talk therapy, some meds ALWAYS TALK TO THE DOCTOR can be reduced. Eventually, as the trauma begins to subside and new coping skills are learned, then the grief/dysfunctional behaviors and patterns of negative thinking begin to slough off.

Function-takes time--sometimes, we have to re-learn. The road isn't always easy, but it is worth it.

Dont' let society or other people bother you. This is your journey and not any one else's.