Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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HannaHana 10/30/2011

Do you know how frustrating it is to spend an hour on writing a thread and your stupid laptop just decides on it's own that it wants to refresh and erase everything that you wrote? For the first time in a month, I've decided to come out and ask for help on DS.....and like Murphy's Law, it always goes wrong. Frustrating....very frustrating.

I want to comment on everyone's threads. I really do. When I try to think of something to write, I can't. I don't know how to communicate with people anymore. I want to know how. But I'm terrified that I'm going to say something that is taken the wrong way....or worse, bring someone down with me.

Please help me to break out of this horrible shell of a person I have become. Please help me to stop being so negative. Please help me to stop being shy to the people that don't know me and I would really like to know.

I know you don't know me....even though I've been on DS for about 5-6 years. But please. Help me.

dancingd 10/30/2011

I know you Hanna, and I know you are a loving and caring person.
Someone who has faced trials and tribulations ....and survived !

I know you struggle, I know you love your kids , you want the best for them...and you are a great MOM !

Sending love
dd

HannaHana 10/30/2011

I'd like to make friends. I have 1 friend that I can talk to. I can't bring myself to talk to my "normie" friends. They don't get it, and don't attempt to understand me. AND, unfortunately, my 1 friend is in a completely different time zone that makes it nearly impossible to talk to him usually. Not that I've made too hard of an effort in the past few weeks.

I feel like a horrible person. Things that are supposed to be important, simply aren't....and I can't even force myself to pretend that they are.

deleted_user 10/30/2011

((HUGS)))
You are a very great person. Don't feel so negative. Just know that I am here for you if you want to vent. Good Luck on ECT tomorrow

tats69 10/30/2011

Hanna you have to take baby steps, we all do if we don't we are headed right for feeling overwhelmed. I try to wake up every day and in my head I say things that I am grateful for.....it helps with the negativity tapes that want to play over and over in my mind.

Making friends is just harder for some people, I know it is for me....I suck at it actually but please don't be so darn hard on yourself, I know it's not easy but we all need to be alot easier on ourselves don't you think??

I think alot of us just need to learn to say screw it and not worry about what might come out of our mouths so much. I think it comes with age too Hanna, I tend to not worry so much about what others will think the older I get.....I am just me and if someone doesn't like it...well it's their loss. I hope you feel better soon *hugs*

deleted_user 10/31/2011

I know you, too, Hanna. I hope the ECT breaks your pattern of thinking. It was the lap top, not you that had the problem. That used to happen to me, so I got a Mac. It is more user friendly, and I had courses in University on how to use them. So I am much more positive about computers.

But it also sounds like more than computers are bugging you. So hugs and praying for a good outcome for you.

mysavior05 10/31/2011

i always write from my heart with the intention never to hurt but always to help and if its something that someone may misinterpret i always let them know that this from experien ce only or my opinion from my experience only. i tend to be a talker and a w riter. i have said too much at times and have stepped on toes regretfully all i can do is say is i am sorry and learn from it. i find writing to be very cleansing and healing when you can help someone through your own pain.
prayers and good thoughts out to you.((((HUGS)))))
gina

deleted_user 10/31/2011

I remember you posting quite frequently. I rarely post as well. I am sorry you are feeling badly. I wish I could help but am in the same place really,

Marilyanna 10/31/2011

You cant cant cant be worse then ME I nrmally say very little here bec I always get yelled at for my answers on topics. I always get miscontstued hahahahahahahaha at least your Hannahanna you carry more weight.

deleted_user 10/31/2011

your honesty is appreciated; we know you mean well. Try not to stress about it; it will needlessly affect you badly.

I think lurking counts as socializing! (sorta)

peanutsandcheese 11/01/2011

Hanna I have seen you post for years on here and you give great advice. I do know what you mean though as I go through the same thing for long periods. I am physically unable to post. Even though i am now in a phase where I can post there are so many times when I am in the middle of writing a reply but change my mind and cancel the whole thing. Time zones are my problem too . I think you should just take a deep breath and go for it and just reply. I am betting nothing bad will happen. What's the worst that could happen anyway ? Its just words on an internet forum . You are shooting bullets to the head . Try to relax , feel the fear and just do it anyway :-)

peanutsandcheese 11/01/2011

Oh dear I mean " you are NOT shooting bullets to the head "
See Hanna I made a huge boob and I survived LOL You will too !!!

deleted_user 11/01/2011

I remember you from a few years back and were might even have been friends but didn't write to ea other often. I liked you! My name then was bbipolar. I'd like to be your friend again.

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