Tell these chicks you don't do the whole "talking behind each other's back" thing. If they decide they know longer wish to be your "friend", that's their loss. And definitely not yours.

If they talk about one another this way to you can you imagine what they must say about others in the group? If they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you. And tats, I'm not saying YOU'RE like that. You obviously aren't but these women are. Just work on getting YOU well. I hope I helped and I hope I made sense. Peace.

I agree 100% with Sam.

Agreed. If they are doing it with you, they could well be doing it without you. All you have to say is that you would rather not talk about another person when they are not around to defend themselves.

I agree that you could and should say something to these women. Understandably it's very anxiety provoking since you have to deal with these women for however long you're in DBT so you may not want to start anything. BUT...one way or another, something has to be done. If the DBT counselor doesn't say anything about it, then it will continue...so I would suggest that either you speak with the DBT counselor in private or speak to these women directly.

I hope this helps at all.

If it's not something that you can do on your own right now, have the councelor speak to them. If it continues and gets to a point where you can speak up and feel better about doing so, do it then. But don't work yourself up over it to much.

*hugs*

Scarlet

Yes, you've all helped. And I appreciate it. I'm feeling so torn up about it and not liking it one bit.

I did call the DBT coordinator and he said he would take care of it. But I think I am going to say something to them as well, I'm not looking to make friends with them, I'm looking to get the help that I need. Damn, I'm paying money each week for it!

You must be an easy person to talk to seeing as they are signaling you out. Be prepared for fall out though if your co-ordinator does it (depending upon how he handles the situation). People don't like being told they have or are doing something wrong especially by a supervisor. Guessing by the type of group it is this stuff may come up all the time...you're all learning DBT for some reason. Hopefully these women can be handled in a way that doesn't make you look like the bad guy.

If it doesn't stop them I would be honest with them about your feelings...if they respect that then they are friends. If they are just using you because you listen well and dumping all their frustrations out on you because you're handy to them and will listen then you don't need that and I would make up excuses to not be around them...say you have an appointment or your kid called and wants you home etc...Don't sit wiith them in class. They'll get the message soon enough and find some other poor soul to dump on as long as it's not you.

Man I hate gossipers and backstabbers, its not anger management so I'd punch the fuck out them.

LOL!
Boxrep, Kinda felt like it but I'd get kicked out of the group!

I'd really like for us to just walk into the room, say hello, sit down and start group. I have no interest in making friends, it's actually against the rules to form any kind of friendships. I'll have to keep my fingers crossed, but come next Monday I'll be nervous all over again since the group is still so new to me and now with the added "problems" there are......ugh.

Tats,
I would tell them this-
"We are all here for our own reasons. It's not my place or style to judge another."
Then I would simply walk away. Chances are in this group someone will inevitably piss someone else off. They are going to be personality issues. Don't let them stop you on your journey to be a better you. Good luck to you. ((hugs))