Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I'm going with a short version. I was pretty isolated and lonely as a child. Was bullied all through school. The main interest there was sports which I was bad at. The staff did little to nothing a the bullying.
My mom become an alcoholic when I was a teenager. This meant a lot of fighting between my parents. She died of it when I was 23.
My 1st husband wasn't good. He was lazy and didn't work a lot. He bought a lot of things on credit creating a lot of debt. My sister-in-law ran him of by falsely accusing him of molesting my niece. I won't go into the details on why I know he didn't do it you will just have to trust me. This really caused me a lot of damage. Our son was only a few months old when This happened.
After that I had nervous breakdowns job losses then the big nervous breakdown. I was then disabled with bipolar disorder. My son has Aspergers syndrome and has always been difficult.
My second husband died of cancer and his family treated me badly.
Now my son and I live with his grandma on his father's side.
I made a lot of wrong turns and was dealt a bad hand in life. I just want to know that it wasn't all my fault .
I'm afraid of being abandoned with no one to love me.
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
my thought....the past is Gone, one can only learn from mistakes/choices as one moves forward, the present....one can do the best they can for that day. the future has not happened yet.
acceptance of what is fact, what can be changed, and what cannot be changed helped me to deal with my regrets....and forgive myself, when you know better you can do better.
I also stopped asking '''why'''.
I can only add welcome back!
I think the above advice is very good...
The only thing I would add is love yourself and have some self compassion....
My mantra " Forgive self and forgive others"
Gently go forward....
So, BiPolar Disorder is a disease, a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes symptoms ranging from Depression to Manic Eps depending on what end of the scale you're geared towards.....
That being said, no there is not anything you did that could have caused it. You've been through a lot in life and survived it, you have strength, lean on that strength and continue to survive the crap life throws in your way. Focus on your son and helping him become the strongest, most confidant person he can be. I hope your seeing a Therapist or Pdoc for treatment and support.
take care,
kat
There is hope in your healing. What is past, how about leaving it in the past? What say you? Most of us have something in the past that will always have a stronghold on us if we keep holding on to it. But Jenn, you have a beautiful soul and you are a wonderful person. Don't let it stop you from moving forward to embrace what life has to offer you. Be well and take care. God bless!
While the exact causes of bipolar disorder are not yet fully understood, we do know that it is
primarily a biological illness. However, its onset is often linked to stressful life events. There are a
number of factors that are believed to play a role in developing bipolar disorder including genetics,
brain chemicals, environmental factors and sometimes medical illnesses.
It appears you have pretty much had a double dose of all these things (and more) so I think your view on how you got this way is pretty spot on.
Good luck!