Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I'm going with a short version. I was pretty isolated and lonely as a child. Was bullied all through school. The main interest there was sports which I was bad at. The staff did little to nothing a the bullying.
My mom become an alcoholic when I was a teenager. This meant a lot of fighting between my parents. She died of it when I was 23.
My 1st husband wasn't good. He was lazy and didn't work a lot. He bought a lot of things on credit creating a lot of debt. My sister-in-law ran him of by falsely accusing him of molesting my niece. I won't go into the details on why I know he didn't do it you will just have to trust me. This really caused me a lot of damage. Our son was only a few months old when This happened.
After that I had nervous breakdowns job losses then the big nervous breakdown. I was then disabled with bipolar disorder. My son has Aspergers syndrome and has always been difficult.
My second husband died of cancer and his family treated me badly.
Now my son and I live with his grandma on his father's side.
I made a lot of wrong turns and was dealt a bad hand in life. I just want to know that it wasn't all my fault .
I'm afraid of being abandoned with no one to love me.
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Some things we don't talk about, we breathe them... Some things cannot be explained, but rather experienced. Some of the most healing moments arise when given the memory, acknowledging the love.One cannot go back in time; we move forward, and we carry the love we shared. No one but ourselves has the power to do so, or the permission to do so, but ourselves.So live life with your faith and...
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I've been feeling like I don't matter my wife the other day instead of telling me she was having a pain day when I went to have sex with her she tell me afterwards that she having pain day due to her fribromyalgia and making feel like shit afterward saying she has a list of things from past 9 years of thing for me to do and is always adding more and more to this list and talk...
my thought....the past is Gone, one can only learn from mistakes/choices as one moves forward, the present....one can do the best they can for that day. the future has not happened yet.
acceptance of what is fact, what can be changed, and what cannot be changed helped me to deal with my regrets....and forgive myself, when you know better you can do better.
I also stopped asking '''why'''.
I can only add welcome back!
I think the above advice is very good...
The only thing I would add is love yourself and have some self compassion....
My mantra " Forgive self and forgive others"
Gently go forward....
So, BiPolar Disorder is a disease, a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes symptoms ranging from Depression to Manic Eps depending on what end of the scale you're geared towards.....
That being said, no there is not anything you did that could have caused it. You've been through a lot in life and survived it, you have strength, lean on that strength and continue to survive the crap life throws in your way. Focus on your son and helping him become the strongest, most confidant person he can be. I hope your seeing a Therapist or Pdoc for treatment and support.
take care,
kat
There is hope in your healing. What is past, how about leaving it in the past? What say you? Most of us have something in the past that will always have a stronghold on us if we keep holding on to it. But Jenn, you have a beautiful soul and you are a wonderful person. Don't let it stop you from moving forward to embrace what life has to offer you. Be well and take care. God bless!
While the exact causes of bipolar disorder are not yet fully understood, we do know that it is
primarily a biological illness. However, its onset is often linked to stressful life events. There are a
number of factors that are believed to play a role in developing bipolar disorder including genetics,
brain chemicals, environmental factors and sometimes medical illnesses.
It appears you have pretty much had a double dose of all these things (and more) so I think your view on how you got this way is pretty spot on.
Good luck!