hi and welcome to the board.

You really need to get back on meds to be able to get on an even keel to face these challenges - why did you go off them?

I’m so sad with you. I’ve alsway found this website and the people in it to be one of my biggest supports. I hope things will turn around for you

Welcome Zinnias...… I am so sorry that you're going through so much

What about going to emerg and inpatient in order to get you back to a stable place.?

A social worker could help with some of the hurdles you're facing as well

I find that when hospitalized we put all of our focus on finding stability again and it can make a big difference in a fairly short amount of time....

Gentle hug and a blessing......xo

I am homeless and it makes finding a doctor or going to see one very difficult if not impossible. I don't even know where to begin where I am because where I sleep at night is not even close to where my jobs are at and I have no idea what will happen next so it's like I am taking life one moment at a time at this point. Planning ahead is very difficult as I never know where I may be one day to the next or if I'll have a way to get anywhere. I just am very lost.

Do you have a 211 number? They provide all kinds of info--- but if you go to hospital they can refer you to a physician-- its hard to get your bearings with being homeless---a mental health association can help to to steer you in the right direction ((hugs)) polar

I'm exhausted.

You may find some useful info in this thread

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/bipolar-disorder/discussion/advice-link-for-free-health-care-homeless

Thank you! I will say more later. Feeling overwhelmed right now.

hi Zinnia, you sound like one tough cookie!

If you life in the U.S., you can check with the Social Services in the city you're in, most have a Mental Services department and clinic for people just like you, who can't afford a Pdoc or meds. There may be a waiting list, but if you get your name on it, then it's something you're doing to make things better and good will come out of it.

I'm sure you know about food banks and soup kitchens, I'm sure you've learned a lot about how to survive and that takes strength, streetsmarts, determination and the will to be better. Don't discount yourself, you've done way more than you give yourself credit for.

Churches, and the bigger the better, specifically Presbyterian, Baptist and Methodist all have budgeted funds to help people. You might try some of those resources. I was an Accountant in a large Presbyterian Church for a few years and our "Help the Needy" budget was $250,000 per year. They don't advertise, you have to go in and ask, and there is no shame in asking. We also had a clothes closet, we had grocery cards....many, many resources.

So, please think about checking out the Social Services for Mental Health care.

I no your scared, and it is really, really hard right now...but don't give up. If at your lowest you can work 2 jobs and survive, just imagine what you can be when things turn around and your on your feet....and they will turn around.

I was homless for a little while when my seemingly perfect life crashed around me about 9 years ago....I'd given up on a 25 year marriage, I'd had my 11 yr old son taken from me by his alcoholic father and step mom, I'd been forced to retire from a Career I loved and cherished, because of the crapass body filled with disease and brokeness that I was handed in this life, and I had no answers why. And I couldn't except it, so I sank into depression, had no will to live and my then 19 yr old son convinced me not to swallow a bottle of pills, but instead he went with me and checked me into my usual Psych ward....I was there for 3 months, learning how to get my life back....learning how to want to.

I was a good person, I helped any and everyone I could, I raised my childred to do the same, to have compassion and care for others. When my youngest was 9 he would take his allowance and buy loaves of bread and peanut butter and jelly, and make sammiches (as he called them), he'd bag them up, put a little slip of paper in them that said, "You do matter!" and then he'd have me drive around Chapel Hill and we'd stop at every person panhandling or out by the shelter and he'd pass out his sammiches.

I lived my life the right way, but from day 1, I've suffered throug pain, abuse, illness, injury, incredible pain, and mental illness. I wasted many years asking "why?" I finally realized that we don't always get that answer this side of heaven, so I figured that if I had to deal with all of this, I might as well use the knowledge that I'd gained to help others not have to blindly suffer through it.

We don't always understand "Why" we get this life, why it's so damn unfair most of the time...but there is an answer.

I wish you hope, the strength to carry on, and the understanding that you are a very strong, smart awesome person....survivors have to be.

Take care,
Kat

Welcome to DS. I'm sorry this happened to you. I have felt the same way by questioning why I was here and thinking everything is pointless.
It is a cruel work and surviving it can be really difficult. The users have already given you a lot of good advice because they know what you are going through. Please keep coming back and best wishes. Hugs!

Welcome to this group. I am so sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. Please keep reaching out and researching locally. If you’re at the library try locating a local support group to attend in person....someone locally may have really helpful suggestions. I know that’s hard to coordinate while you’re working your 2 jobs but I really recommend working it into your schedule. It’s good to start trying to connect and connect Not always easy but you can’t give up. It’s important not to isolate when dealing with bipolar diagnosis....and working two jobs can be really draining and an isolating grind, esp if you don’t have access to meds right now.

Yes, go to an ER if you need to. Work can wait and you can bring back doctors notes to jobs.

I am sending you strength and hope and encouragement. Overwhelmed is a tough spot to be in but baby steps can happen slowly. Everything will be alright.

Definitely dial 211. It will help you find some services for you. Also, don't be afraid to go to a hospital and ask for help. Tell them you are off your meds and they will get you back on them. You really need to do this so you can get stabilized. Once you are stabilized you can think clearly and figure out the next steps you need to take to get health. I am praying for you hon.

You are all being so wonderful to me and I appreciate it very much! Finally going to try to sleep now. Can't process anymore today.

@oldercper you think I'm a tough cookie? I haven't felt very strong through all of this. I have felt like a weak failure. But reading your comments and some from other members it has helped me maybe see things about myself a little differently. I never thought of myself as a survivor. I need to look back on the things I've made it through and possibly draw some confidence and encouragement from that. Thank you kindly for helping me change my mindset! Thank you to all of you!