Hi Jenn... absolutely! My siblings all get on my nerves except my eldest brother and he has his moments.

Back again :-) I should say all get on my nerves sometimes or often instead of overgeneralising, but you get the idea. I love them all individually in my own way but can't handle the cacophany of everyone when together speaking over the top of one another trying to one-up one another. Just thinking about it unnerves me now, lol. I am going to listen to some nice relaxing background jazz music to fix that up.

There we go... thats better. Probably the other thing I'd like to say is the very best of luck with developing or keeping your self support where you are OK with this... or maybe discover a new frame or way to get some fun out of what you do do on holidays anyway.

Absolutely. Most holidays are no big deal family-wise for me. I hang out with friends almost every holiday. However, during Christmas I have a difficult time. My parents are both passed and I'm estranged from my two siblings who are all the family I have. When we first severed ties, I had an extremely hard time. Everyone else around me kept talking about all their plans with their families: gifts and cooking. It sounded like a great time and I was missing out. I started lying to friends/coworkers that I was going home for the holiday, just so I wouldn't feel alienated from these people. I didn't want to explain the situation and be judged for having these problems in my life. I was dealing with the situation the best I could, and knew these people wouldn't understand. Telling these lies became very upsetting to me, as I felt like I could not share the reality I was living with the people in my life. In treatment I brought it up during group therapy session and everyone had sad stories. We all felt excluded from an important bonding experience with our families that was expected to happen to us in our culture. We basically resolved that we may have unrealistic expectations of picturebook experiences that are pushed on us. I definitely love and miss my family, and wish that we got along better, but I keep my expectations in check around the holidays and don't compare my self to others or all the crap that we see in the media. I don't feel disappointed anymore as the years go on. I feel that holidays aren't as important as they once were. I found myself resenting putting up a Christmas tree this year, until I asked myself "Who am I doing this for? I don't even want to do this." So I didn't put it up. No need to force myself to go through the motions.

Thank you everyone.

I love the preparation for holidays and I love the build up, i hate the part about getting together with extended family. I get so anxious about it all. I'm the girl who listens to holiday music in July and wants to put the tree up after halloween. But id gladly skip the family socializing. I like to see my sisters and their babies but no one else.

Big hug for you Jenn.....

I don't really have family anymore but I do miss the holiday get together's ... What about pot luck?.... Then no one person is expected to do all of the work.... If there are in laws to share holidays with just do it the week before or week after... I used to do this when I was married ....

I'm sorry that you're feeling low......xo

My dad's side of the family did potlucks every year when I was growing up but it has been phased out over the years. I think it's because the family is so spread out over many miles.