Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I'm in a complicated situation with my ex. I'm only twenty and a year ago I started dating a girl two years younger than me who already had a one year old son at the time. I broke up with her recently because she failed to take care of the son, but I have come to care deeply for him. She was living at her mom's house still, but ran away two weeks ago, leaving my ex's mother to take care of the child, and leaving the child without his mother. The real father, though he calls me dad, is not in the picture. This all just breaks my heart. I tried so had to push her in a positive direction. Then today, I went to see the child for the first time since the breakup and agreed to regularly watching him. While it was fun, it still carried a somber tone to it, due to the circumstances through which I was there. In addition, my very close cousin was diagnosed with cancer in his bones today; I'm not sure as to the medical term for that. I have come a long way from abusing drugs and my violent nature, but today I am having an extremely hard time controlling myself and my urges to hit things. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you very much.
But that's just a quick fix that may not even do any good.
I'm glad that you are recognizing that it's all the life stresses that are getting to you and pushing you into feeling this way. The fact that you can see that is a good first step in dealing with it. I think you'll have to get some help in dealing with this.
Are you under a Pdoc's care? Perhaps you need a temporary med tweak to keep you from physically (and mentally) losing it.
I'm so sorry about what you're going through. I can't help but feel sorriest for the two year old. He has essentially lost both his parents if his mother stays away and if you aren't in the picture. But what good will you be to him if the stress of being a father figure proves to be too much for you and you have a breakdown?
Is it worse to keep bonding with him now, when his mother could show up at any moment and forbid you to see him? Will it just make it harder for him? Or if the grandmother changes her mind and decides that it's best for you not to come around. You have no legal rights in this matter.
Bless you for wanting to stay a part of his life. You're a true hero in my eyes to step up to the plate and offer to care for him regularly. But can you do it and keep your sanity? What a complex situation. Being in his life is such a huge responsibility, but losing him is no small loss. Either way is going to be difficult for you.
And I don't quite know what bone cancer is, but it sounds very serious and I'm sorry that someone whom you love is suffering from it. I hope that it is highly treatable and that your cousin will eventually be okay. I know you'll want to stay well enough in order to be there for him.
Do you see a therapist? You are under so much pressure and it seems like it might stay this way for the foreseeable future. Now might be a good time to consider going into therapy to help you deal with what all of this is putting you through.
Make sure to come here and unload whatever you're feeling if it does you the least bit of good!!!! We're here to listen!!!
I wish you all the luck in the world in dealing with these issues!!! I can see why you feel the urge to hit things!!! You've got to have some kind of release!!!! ((((((((((Hugs))))))))))
Carla
I understand where the urge to hit things comes from, because you are simply In an emotionally charged situation, being around her son because you Care, but it being what it is, her being your ex and leaving and all.
You need Balance if you are going to continue seeing him, which means you need Space. It might not be as simple as just going home at the end of each day; you need to watch to see how mad things get you, and how Long you need to be away from the situation before you calm down and get hold of "you" again.
You're doing a Good thing, but only if you can keep Yourself in the process...does that make sense?
This little one will look up to you, so try to remember that he is watching everything you do and listening to everything you say.
He will repeat your words and behave the way you do.
Instead of hitting try to hug . . .
(((((HUGS)))))
I am in a similar situation with three babies. I take care of them regularly. But their mother and fathers actions toward the children drive me to the edge sometimes.
I too tried to urge them in a positive direction. I thought my leading by example would make a difference. It doesn't work sweetie, and you will just drive yourself crazy.
All you can do is love that baby and let it go what his mother does. The joy you find in him will help you overcome the other stress you are facing. But, you have to protect yourself first in addition to your good intentions.
I'm sorry about your cousin. I am praying for you and your family.
Yes, I can see (and hear) that you have come a long way. Good for you. I am wishing you the very best, you deserve it!!!!!!! MK.