Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Here it goes again

Alliegator
Alliegator
It seems I have started cutting again. I kind of just don't care about all the reasons I had for not doing it. I deserve it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Are you experiencing an increase in anxiety these days?
starfish
starfish
Aw, I'm sorry to hear that....how do you mean to say, you deserve it? Like a punishment, or like a privilage? or something else? did something stress you out?

((( hugs )))
deleted_user
deleted_user
You don't deserve it. It is one of those lies we tell ourselves.
Alliegator
Alliegator
Life has been a little more stressful these days yeah. The thing that set it off tonight is a long story but basically I can't do this danc thing I had committed to b/c I discovered we have to dance on concrete floors. My body cannot handle that. I am in so much pain from just on erehearsal. I need to tell then I have to drop out of the show. My mom always uses pain as an excuse. I CAN NOT BECOME MY MOTHER. I will kill myself. Like would actually go through with it if I got her disease and used pain as an excuse for everything. And this is a kind of pain my mom doesn't feel. He pain isn't feeling of slicing and then seeing the blood. So this pain is a good way to puniish myself. and keep me from becoming her. Sorry I'm on ambien so I might not 100% make sense or answer all the questions. I'll be on in ther morning.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Take care of yourself, sweetie. Be kind to yourself. xx
starfish
starfish
My mother did that, too....and Alliegator, I can assure you, that you are NOT your mother; even if you both have pain in common, (even if it has the same cause)....you still have your own option of how to deal with it....I don't know what your mom does, but I imagine it's an unhealthy way. I hope you can find a healthy way to cope with your pain; a way you DO deserve. You DON'T deserve being punished for having pain. Knock that off!!!! (((( hugs ))))
deleted_user
deleted_user
Self punishment is just an attempt to find some sort of balance in your mind.

The cosmos isn't holding a grudge against you...and the one's causing your pain probably don't even think about it...so, this need is coming from within yourself.

I realize I'm restating the obvious...but, seriously, calm down...there's no need in doing this. It solves nothing...but talking does help much, if you'll open up and surrender to care...