Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I've been in university now for three years and I made a great friend who is the best friend that I have ever had. She has been there for me through so much particularly because of my disorder. She has always been the person I can talk to and has gone way above and beyond what I could ever have asked a person to do for me.
The problem is that when we started university we were really close. But then last year I had a really bad spell (and went to the hospital). Because I was feeling so badly all the time and felt that all my dreams were shattered and life was hopeless I began feeling jealous of her because everything in her life was going so well. She never has anything negative to share with me even though she knows I would support her, and she was directing a play that I was a part of (but didn't end up acting in because I was at the hospital) and was also a member of the student council.
Then this year she became the Vice President and I applied and didn't get in. It's hard because at my school they do an interview process and she's the one who interviewed me and even though she had heard me talk about it for over a year, she gave it to someone else who I admit was more deserving of it any way. When I think about it I realize that I am upset because I honestly don't understand how to separate professionalism with friendship. She knew I wanted it, but I know the other guy deserved it more. She gave me another position, but it's the position I had last year and it really gives you no perks and everyone complains to us because they think what we are doing is pointless.
I don't want to be jealous of her because I know it's going to ruin our relationship. I feel really guilty all the time about how I treated her, but I just can't stop thinking of how jealous I am. I know it's really bad to be jealous, and I've tried everything I can to stop, but it won't go away. I don't know what to do. I can't back out of my position because everyone's counting on me to do it next year so that's not an option. Any ideas on what might help?
The problem is that when we started university we were really close. But then last year I had a really bad spell (and went to the hospital). Because I was feeling so badly all the time and felt that all my dreams were shattered and life was hopeless I began feeling jealous of her because everything in her life was going so well. She never has anything negative to share with me even though she knows I would support her, and she was directing a play that I was a part of (but didn't end up acting in because I was at the hospital) and was also a member of the student council.
Then this year she became the Vice President and I applied and didn't get in. It's hard because at my school they do an interview process and she's the one who interviewed me and even though she had heard me talk about it for over a year, she gave it to someone else who I admit was more deserving of it any way. When I think about it I realize that I am upset because I honestly don't understand how to separate professionalism with friendship. She knew I wanted it, but I know the other guy deserved it more. She gave me another position, but it's the position I had last year and it really gives you no perks and everyone complains to us because they think what we are doing is pointless.
I don't want to be jealous of her because I know it's going to ruin our relationship. I feel really guilty all the time about how I treated her, but I just can't stop thinking of how jealous I am. I know it's really bad to be jealous, and I've tried everything I can to stop, but it won't go away. I don't know what to do. I can't back out of my position because everyone's counting on me to do it next year so that's not an option. Any ideas on what might help?
-
Which explains the mysterious fevers and my extra fatigue. I'm so glad I pushed for answers.
-
Due to my increased paranoia, anxiety, and a panic attack over the weekend, my psychiatrist has put me back in a full dose of Zyprexa until further notice. Every time I think I'm getting ahead something happens and it's back to square one. I knew he was gonna do this but I can't help feeling disappointed. It is what it is.
I will say that perhaps you might want to look into other activities on campus. Unless this is what you really enjoy and look at it as a challenge to learn how to separate friendship and professionalism like you said. I personally would look for another place on campus to work with. It is not worth you getting depressed over.
If she is open perhaps you can just talk to her about how you are feeling and thinking. I am not sure how you feel about this. Do you think that that because you were hospitalized that is the reason that she has overlooked you? Good Luck?
Passive aggressive or aggressive people create a lot of havoc.. there was a good post last night on the way people deal with things.. I'll try and find the name of it for you...
You are right you will drive her away until she says Im done... you can change things around with good will and kindness.. biting your tongue when you feel like lashing out.. there is nothing about jealousy that can do you any good...x