Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Alliegator 08/19/2009

I feel like things are completely spiraling out of control. My thoughts are racing and my heart is pounding. I just want to binge (which I have never done before). I can't sit still and I am full of anxiety. I can't keep track of my money and all I want to do is go buy lots of food and then scarf it down. I am horribly fat but I can never do anything about it. I have so much homework I need to do but I can't focus on anything. My thoughts are going a mile a minute. Nothing is going fast enough for me. I have to go to work tonight and I don't know how I am going to get through. I can't believe I gave in and cut those two nights. I haven't done it since then but I feel so ashamed. I am so stupid. i got confused and ended up 20 minutes late to class today. What the hell. I can't do this. I just keep thinking I hate my life I hate my life. I feel like I am barely holding on. I want to curl up in bed and die. But I can't sit still long enough to even stay in bed. What is happening? I think I am going crazy. Why can't I ever just be okay. I talked to my roommate about all of this and ended up scaring the shit out of her. Why can't I just keep my mouth shut. I just kept talking and talking about it all and how screwed up my brain is. If no one is talking I feel like I have to keep talking. Omg. I can't do this.

deleted_user 08/19/2009

Wow...breathe...slowly.

Have you considered calling your pdoc? It sounds like you need some help.

ReginaPhalange 08/19/2009

Sorry you're feeling like this. Are you on meds? Maybe you need a med tweak, you should call your pdoc and tell them how you feel. Do you have any anxiety medication you can take?
*hugs* xox

Alliegator 08/19/2009

I do really need some help but I am scared to call. I don't know why I just am.

deleted_user 08/19/2009

Don't be scared. We all need help sometimes. And we're here for you. Hugs.

ReginaPhalange 08/19/2009

Please don't be scared. They're there to help you and it sounds like you could do with some help xox

deleted_user 08/19/2009

ok...slow down allie...one thing at a time. breathe in and out, slowly not hyperventilating. have you called your pdoc, can you schedule an emergency appointment? you have a lot going on with starting school again(here i am assuming). what meds are you on right now? you are not stupid. i am not going to make any diagnosis right now because i would be wrong. you have so much on your plate right now it seems as you are overloaded. can you call your folks, a safe person to let it all out to and help you get help? what about calling a crisis line? hang in there kiddo.

deleted_user 08/19/2009

Nothing to be scared of, except feeling silly that you didn't call your pdoc sooner :)

Take something small that you see. Pick it up and find a new place to sit it down. You have control over that one thing.

Now pick your mood, do you want to be calm? Then calm you will be. Breathe and relax your shoulders and neck.

You are more in control than you're giving yourself credit for.

Alliegator 08/19/2009

I am on lamictal and effexor. I don't have anything for anxiety though. I am trying to breath slowly and relax.

Alliegator 08/19/2009

I just called my pdoc but she is out of town.

ZanyBeeper 08/19/2009

Hey Allle. First, I am sorry you are going through such a terrible time. Take some nice deep breaths-in slowly through the nose and out slowly blowing from your mouth. Focus on the in and outs of your breath and the rise and fall of your chest instead of the thoughts in your head if you can. Place your hands in a bowl of ice water maybe while doing the deep breathing. That's about all my feeble mind can think of for now. I hope you feel better soon. Remember one minute at a time in the rough times. Sometimes a day is just too damned hard to think about. Big hugs. Chelle

Bluefly 08/19/2009

Hi Allie. Sorry you are feeling this way. Your pdoc must have left another pdoc to see over her patients while she is away. Did they say?

ZanyBeeper 08/19/2009

Is there a pdoc that is taking calls or seeing emergency patients for her?

Alliegator 08/19/2009

I got an appointment for tomorrow. I hope I am okay until then.

ZanyBeeper 08/19/2009

Just do some of the things we have laid out to you on here and if you get in a worse way or whatever make sure you come back to the board. There are people here 24/7 that would be glad to just chat with you if that is what it took. Good luck honey. I got faith in you!! Hugs.

Bluefly 08/19/2009

That is good. Are you starting to relax a little more? I hope so, please take care of yourself. Remember we are here for support.

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