Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I think I'm having a mixed hypomania/depression phase.
I do my makeup a lot and I've been really really excessive with makeup artistry and amateur photography (with my phone) of myself and of biology and animals and plants and stuff in my backyard.
But also I've been excessive with my looks and taking tons of photos of myself and making sure I look perfect in every single one. And I mean tons.
I........................ didn't realize that this is not normal, if it's all you accomplish all day. And the next day will be the same way, and the day before you did that.
Because society I guess puts such emphasis on selfies and you could upload literally a hundred selfies at a time onto a social media site and it wouldn't be weird.
But it doesn't feel like me. It feels like another person is doing all this. I prefer to be a thinker and a writer, not to be vain or empty, and right now I am both vain and empty.
And I JUST NOW realized that I'm acting batty or wacko or whatever you wanna call it.
I think it's my way to cope with the trauma of severe prolonged isolation and hopelessness, as well as severe disconnected-ness. Anything you post is a shout into the void, and it might connect you to someone, or something. And you kind of don't care if it doesn't, but you kind of want something interesting to come of it.
But this is getting out of hand.
I feel psycho. Honestly. A social pariah psycho, the worst kind.
How do I fix it?
Going inpatient just makes me more insane because it's so redundant.
My meds were adjusted, but I don't think they're making a difference. I think I'm getting worse.
Help. Me.
I do my makeup a lot and I've been really really excessive with makeup artistry and amateur photography (with my phone) of myself and of biology and animals and plants and stuff in my backyard.
But also I've been excessive with my looks and taking tons of photos of myself and making sure I look perfect in every single one. And I mean tons.
I........................ didn't realize that this is not normal, if it's all you accomplish all day. And the next day will be the same way, and the day before you did that.
Because society I guess puts such emphasis on selfies and you could upload literally a hundred selfies at a time onto a social media site and it wouldn't be weird.
But it doesn't feel like me. It feels like another person is doing all this. I prefer to be a thinker and a writer, not to be vain or empty, and right now I am both vain and empty.
And I JUST NOW realized that I'm acting batty or wacko or whatever you wanna call it.
I think it's my way to cope with the trauma of severe prolonged isolation and hopelessness, as well as severe disconnected-ness. Anything you post is a shout into the void, and it might connect you to someone, or something. And you kind of don't care if it doesn't, but you kind of want something interesting to come of it.
But this is getting out of hand.
I feel psycho. Honestly. A social pariah psycho, the worst kind.
How do I fix it?
Going inpatient just makes me more insane because it's so redundant.
My meds were adjusted, but I don't think they're making a difference. I think I'm getting worse.
Help. Me.
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I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
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Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
You've been though this before. You got through it. You'll get through it this time. Chances are it will happen again.
One thing I'd suggest is that you recognise this when it happens again. Step out of yourself and remind yourself that it's going to be ok. Don't let negative self talk get it's way.
Our faces change. Our perceptions change. Therefore we can look different to ourselves.
Actually the real delusion we have is thinking we don't look different. We change by the minute, hour, day, month, year.
You can't step into the same river twice as they say.
The upside is that you can change forever for the better at anytime.
If not now, when?
You just started new meds so give 'em a chance before you rule out your sanity (LOL!). Your meds were JUST adjusted, right? Yes, give them a chance first before you think you're losing it. Which, by the by, is okay, too. It has happened before and will probably happen again but it will not last. To paraphrase Fish.
You just started a new med regime and you are not gonna feel better overnight. It may take two weeks or longer so please stick with it. (((HUGS)))