Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
So I've been working full time on and off a lot throughout my life. Mostly it goes sour, I either get overwhelmed and end up calling in sick one too many times to get fired. It's not all a bad experience either though, I earn money, feel much more confident, a lot more normal etc.. but the problem is I'm not normal. I can pretend it's working all I want, and a lot of the time it IS working. But eventually I have to accept that I cannot do this my entire life. There will be times I can't handle this stress, times I can't get out of bed, times I don't want to face anybody. I'm going through one of those times now. But I want to keep this job so badly.
I have a disability hearing coming up next month.. half of me wants to pour everything in to it and get on SSI and live a meager life without all this pressure and stress. The other half of me wants to not even go to the hearing, pretend I never applied for disability and continue working and pretending I'm normal and none of this phases me. I fear in the long run if I keep up the latter I'm going to do something really stupid or have a bad episode.
I'm curious how many of you work and manage bipolar disorder. Do you work full time or part time? Do you work with other people? Is your work stressful? What kind of bipolar do you have?
I'm type 1. I've got my work to cut off a day a week, which is so awesome. But now they want to make me start working 40 hours again instead of 32 and I'm already feeling stressed and fed up. I know I can get over this though and maybe keep a job for more than a year for once in my life. Any advice, stories, pats on the back =D I'm so desparate right now. Tired of running the rat race, it's like everybody I know forgot I had a mental illness because I got a job, makes me really want to scream at people.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I've always worked full time in retail management. Retail is hard enough with the unpredictability of human behavior and the hours and low pay. I've worked through extreme panic attacks and every single hospitalization had steps leading up to it where all my coworkers knew. Humiliating.
I've somehow made peace with it and over 24 years have built up a kind of armor to not get upset easily in the face of pressure. Not to say I don't get extreme anxiety with bosses and problems but therapy helps me. Stress reducing cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness. Ensuring I SLEEP RIGHT, first and foremost.
I can tell you though there are times I've looked at disability, and it was encouraged by people who knew me but I had therapists push me and point out my good, strong qualities. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going on disability. Don't let that be a source of shame in any way. This illness is f$&@in' hard to live with and at moments I've wanted to scream at strangers and ask them if they have any clue what I'm dealing with right now. I've had to step away and breathe in a paper bag. I've had to run to bathrooms crying. I've sometimes just cried right there in plain view and continue doing my job. Humiliating.
I am doing well now with lower dosages and less meds, more therapy. But I don't think I can afford therapy anymore so I'm pondering different things.
Thinking of you and sending you strength and courage. You are not alone.
Hobolady, retail management with bipolar? My sister in law worked in retail management for years and I could see it run her ragged! I can't imagine doing that with this disorder, you're a trooper and a half! She moved on to a better HR job at a large insurance company and she is much less stressed and much happier. Maybe you could make a similar move! Best of luck and thanks for sharing :) I think the less meds and therapy you need the better, but don't neglect yourself! I try to eat healthy and exercise too as my forms of therapy ;) Thanks again for your kind words!
Fish, did you have times where you couldn't work or your job was in jeopardy because of bp? Thanks for sharing :)
I eventually went onto disability as my memory has been really effected and I worked in a realm that it could have been dangerous... I went into a bad depression and have really only ever partially come out of it... I wish you well on your decision......xo
It's a painful choice: carry on and act as if and face getting fired or get on SSDI
I managed to work for 20+ years but it was tough. I worked in various roles in dentistry and changed jobs quite a bit. In my last job I had a lot of responsibility but my paycheck never reflected the sales revenue I bought in....so I had a really bad episode brought on by stress and not sleeping and I ended up in a hospital and decided to leave. It was the best thing I ever did....
Work these days requires business to do more and more with less people. Salaries have been stagnant for 30+ years. So it comes down to changing jobs and trying to find one that is more liveable or leave the workplace all together. The bad part of SSDI is you don't get very sizable raises and you live on a low monthly allotment.The good part is your healthcare is covered and you get to design a life that supports your health you can even get part time work provided it is below the minimum.
Good luck to you I hope you get SSDI....
Yes. Before I was diagnosed about once every ten years I'd get seriously out of control. Luckily I tended to be in places where I was the boss so no one was paying too much attention. I do feel sorry for the staff though because I did some crazy things and involved them.
I'd had a six week spell off a few years previously due to depression following a minor outbreak of hypomania but my doctor covered for me and put a physical illness down on the certificate.
My most out to lunch time was following the death of my second wife and a combination of compassionate leave and working from home allowed me to hide that from work.
I didn't declare my bipolar at work until a few years ago.
Getting All Your Mental Health History, therapist, hospital, partical hospital programs, group therapy I community, work related, if you've had to start/stop college etc. Any Thing related to how your illness blocks your ability to live a "normal day". When I applied, my psychiatrist and therapist wrote some what exaggerated letters, this in addition to my not working fulltime lead to 'acceptance the first time I applied'....also I did not have an attorney...I do have other physical conditions, so not sure how much that played a part in no refusal...If I had my dream...I'd work for maybe 12-16 hrs per week and stay on disability...I find not having contact in the community very challenging, keeping a daily routine, and depression by no purpose/challenge in my life since my son left home 17months ago...best of luck! ml
I have a letter from them saying that they cannot accommodate the 32 hours a week and I have to work 40 hours with travel and no tardiness. I also have a copy of my resignation saying that they said that and I did not feel like I could comply. I would hope a judge would understand that I couldn't continue on, especially considering I've been fantasizing about asking for a week off but knowing it would be a ridiculous thing to ask at this point. It's just too much.
I feel like they want me to force myself into a horrible episode just to prove I'm disabled again, I'm not an idiot, I know better than to let this stuff get to me and let my symptoms get out of control. The sad thing is if I were to do something drastic and end my life, god forbid and no this isn't a call for help, but if I DID, the judge and my previous employers would probably never even KNOW that they helped get me to that state. It's so hard to say that, but it's true... why should I feel bad, it's not like I've threatened harm to myself ever to anybody, I just think about it all the time, so I guess it's my own fault that people don't truly give a shit. Sorry, this is totally venting. Some of my family members really make this kind of stuff 10 times worse. I feel like shit right now :/
I'm a bit cheered up, you guys are great! I hope I never leave here again, such a good support group. I have to just not think about this in a negative way, it's good that I don't have to go sit in cubicle for 8 hours a day and drive in horrible aggravating traffic again, this is a good thing! =D