SOUTHERNISMS
Well , butter my butt n call me a biscuit
She fell out of a ugly tree n hit every branch on the way down.
Shes so stuck up shed drown in a rainstorm.
Its so dry. The trees are bribing the dogs
My cow died last night I dont need your bull.
He as country as cornflakes.
This is goodern grits.
It things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.
Im b out as . Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
Busy as a moth in a mitten.
Happy as a clam in hide tide.
Advice for Northerners moving to the South. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed on how to use it shortly.
Just because you can drive in snow and ice does not mean Southerners can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
IF YOU DO RUN YOUR CAR INTO A DITCH, DONT PANIC. FOUR MEN IN THE CAB OF A FOUR WHEEL TRUCK PICK UP WITH A 12 PACK OF BEER AND A TOW CHAIN WILL BE ALONG SHORTLY. DONT TRY AND HELP THEM. JUST STAY OUT OF THEIR WAY. THIS IS WHAT THEY LIVE FOR.
You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, youre better off trying to find it yourself.
Remember Yall is singular. All Yall is plural. All yalls is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing , Yall aint from around here . are yuh?
Dont be worried that you dont understand anyone. They dont understand you either.
The first Southern expression is to creep into a transplanted Northerners vobabulary is the adjective big ol . as in big ol truck or big olboy. Fixin
( asin Im fixin to go to the store) in 2nd and Y all is 3 rd.
As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone directly in the middle of the road, remember: All Southern folks learned to drive a John Deere tractor, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, Hey , yall watch this! Get the hell out of the way! These are likely the last words he will ever say. Or worse still , that you will ever hear.
Most Southerners do not use turn signals: they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license plate, you may be rest assured that it was already turned on when the car was purchased.
I it caint be fried in bacon grease, it aint worth cookin, let alone eatin.
If there is a prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow , your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store. It is just something youre supposed to do.
Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one, it is positioned directly in front of the house. This is logical , bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the house and should therefore be prominently displayed.
Oh bty I am a Yankee LOL
I hope this cheered some people up on here ?

Sent by a dear old family friend Florine Fellers years ago. This is for her memory:}