Call a Hot Line...you sound like you need to talk with someone who understands and will listen to you
Hugs

Hey Pink, sorry you are feeling so low. I can certainly relate, especially right now. I have been living with this disorder for a looooooong time and I still struggle fighting the "negative" and "suicidal" thoughts when I am depressed.

What meds are you taking, if any? Even if you do not like your pdoc right now, I would definately call him and discuss how you feel. With Chemical depression, it isnt always possible to stop the cycling down. It runs its course no matter what, unless you get on the right meds.

You can help yourself by working through it with writing, journalling (same thing). Sometimes we get trapped in our own stinkin head and talk ourselves into believing the worst. Try to think of some positive accomplishments in your life, no matter how small. Journal what is going on in your life and choose one thing you can make a plan to solve right now. Jot down "steps" to working toward the goal.

You might try making a plan for healthy living for yourself....not saying you are not living healthy, but, there are always things we can do to improve ourselves. Do you have hobbies? Anything you really enjoy doing that you can take up right now? Sometimes even reading a book that really draws me in can take me out of my own head. Another thing that helps me get out of my own head is reaching out and helping others. Maybe an elderly person you know....clean their house or sit and talk with them. I have actually gone to nursing homes before and just sat and chatted with the older people. Their history is amazing to me.

I wont be around much today/tonight but if I am here and you need to talk, dont hesitate to message me. And, by all means, keep posting here and talking on the board with others. Dont give up, we all understand where you are coming from....xo

Suicide is not the answer! Please call someone, or call your doctor. My father committed suicide and almost 30 yrs later it still hurts terribly. I suffer from depression or bi-polar disorder also, yet have not been able to get any help. If you need to talk I am here. Please don't ever do anything to hurt yourself!

Shelly has some great advice. I also have issues fighting suicidal thoughts when I'm depressed. It is a very scary thing, but I've made it through some tough years despite them.

Your message says you don't know if it's bipolar or depression. Do you have a doctor that you can talk to? Have they diagnosed you either way? I know you're switching doctors, but maybe you could even speak to a nurse or to someone on the insurance main line? There are some drawbacks to that though.

If you're really scared and feeling unsafe, I'd recommend the ER. If you're not feeling unsafe, but worried, stay here with us. We'll try to help you through. As others have mentioned, there are also crisis line numbers that can help.

**HUGS**

Pink, I also want to mention that even as strong as I think I am, I have thoughts of suicide when I am depressed. I make myself believe that my family would be so much better without me and also that suicide is the only answer to relieving the emotional pain.

So not true........If you find yourself "planning" or your thoughts constant, please call a crisis center or get to a hospital. There is a threshhold and a place we can get to that is very difficult to come back from emotionally. Please dont let yourself get to that point.....xo

my advice is to listen to Shelley and don't hurt yourself. If you cannot talk to a doc talk to us or call a hotline

Here's a number for crisis line... 1-800-784-2433 (try this number)

I agree that talking to someone on a crisis line is the way to go. If you are really in trouble, that's what you need to do. Good luck and big hugs to you. xxxx

is that number international? cuz i ones i see are like for local. I am trying everyone i am just nervous

# 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
# USA: Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-Talk (1-800-8255)

You need to call the numbers givien you need help . hugs minnie